Updated: July 14, 2023
Originally Published: September 4, 2015
“Just don’t be one of those moms who drops her kids at the sitter’s so she can go to the gym or enjoy some alone time.”
Those were the parting words from a potential babysitter for my two boys. An older woman with an impressive history of caring for children, she had her own kids and grandkids, which she touted as experience. Her home was spotless and wafted of a delicious roast. I was ready to hire her—until she offered up that unsolicited nugget of wisdom.
Like many new parents, I was inundated with advice, opinions, and the occasional judgment from the moment I shared my pregnancy news. I typically brushed off the comments with a polite smile, a nod, or a simple “thanks, hadn’t thought of that.” But when it comes to my belief in making time for myself, I refuse to apologize.
I’m the mom who sends my toddler to daycare part-time, not just for his enjoyment (which he loves) or his development (which is beneficial), but because I genuinely need a breather.
I’m the mother who drops the kids off at Grandma’s house so I can catch a concert. Now, if I claimed I only do this for bands I adore, I’d be fibbing. Sometimes I just want to escape the house, even if it means listening to music I’ve never heard of—alone.
I’m the mom who sneaks out for coffee with friends on a Saturday afternoon. Coffee often turns into lunch and endless chatter, making it hard to return home at a sensible hour. I could say it’s good for the kids to bond with their dad, but let’s be real; sometimes I just crave adult conversation and yummy food.
I’m the mother who leaves the kids with the neighbors for what I call “errands,” which really means indulging in a massage or getting my eyebrows done. Sure, the baby might be crying and the toddler may be throwing a fit, but these shoulders won’t massage themselves!
And yes, I’m the mom who makes reservations at a pricey restaurant on Friday nights to enjoy a dinner out with my husband. I know the kids are munching on junk food and watching movies with our local teenage sitter. They might stay up way past their bedtime, but honestly? I’m not losing sleep over it.
So to the babysitter who cautioned me against being one of “those” mothers, guess what? I already am. I leave my kids with a sitter to sneak in a run after work or just hang out and chat with colleagues. I deliberately carve out time for myself because if I don’t, who will?
These little escapes create the breathing space I need. They remind me that while I’m connected to my kids, we are also individuals who benefit from time apart to foster our independence—both theirs and mine. They remind me that my needs matter and deserve attention.
And I won’t apologize for prioritizing myself in my own life.
For more insights and stories like this one, check out our other blog posts, such as those about terms and conditions for home insemination here. And if you’re looking for expert advice on fertility, Make a Mom is a great resource. For those considering pregnancy, this link offers excellent information on IVF.
Summary
In this piece, Jenna Thompson expresses her unapologetic stance on prioritizing her own needs as a mother. She shares personal anecdotes about seeking time away from her children for self-care, adult interaction, and relaxation, emphasizing the importance of balance in parenthood.