I won’t sugarcoat it—some days, my partner and I barely exchange a word. With two energetic kids, a full-time job, a side gig, and minimal help with chores, our plates are overflowing. Our lives are filled with joy, and our two little ones bring us more happiness than we ever anticipated. Yet, parenting can be so demanding that it often leaves scant time for ourselves—or each other.
When my wailing newborn was placed in my arms eight years ago, I doubted anything from my old life could persist. But, surprisingly, a few years into this parenting adventure, I can confidently say that while it’s incredibly time-consuming and exhausting, parenthood hasn’t damaged our marriage. In fact, it’s stronger than ever.
Of course, it’s not without its flaws—neither of us is perfect. I have my list of grievances about my partner (right now, I’m on a mission to get him to cut down on his phone use, and it would be fantastic if he could take out the trash without a reminder). I’m certain he has his own complaints about me (mostly about my occasional nagging!).
BUT, when I reflect on how well our relationship endures the challenges of parenthood, it boils down to our effective co-parenting. My husband is as engaged and responsive to our children as I am. He understands them, connects with them, and whenever he’s home, he will do anything for them, day or night. By being such an incredible dad, he gives me the greatest gift of all.
Here’s a little secret: his stellar dad skills make my heart flutter and, believe it or not, are quite attractive. (Yes, our romantic life is thriving despite the chaos of parenthood.)
I know there are many husbands out there rocking fatherhood just like he does. Being a solid parenting duo is vital, but I also recognize that many dads just don’t get it and can’t meet their children’s and partners’ needs. I truly feel fortunate every day.
So, to my husband and all the fantastic fathers out there:
- Thank you for getting up early on weekends so I can catch up on sleep. This morning, I woke up to find the living room filled with superhero figures—there you were, playing with our son, Superman in one hand and a cold cup of coffee in the other. My heart could barely take it!
- Thanks for all those nights you stayed up with our little ones when they were sick. You tackled the laundry without a single complaint. I can’t say I would have done the same!
- I appreciate all the evenings you spent soothing our fussy babies. Your “daddy walk” was the magic trick that calmed them down (and let’s just say, those newborn nights were tough on me!).
- Thank you for driving our kids to birthday parties, swim lessons, and doctor appointments. Some errands just aren’t my favorite, and I’m grateful you take care of those when you can.
- Thanks for waking up at 5 a.m. just to get to work early so you can be home in time for those precious moments before bedtime.
- Thank you for never complaining when you arrive home after a long day, and I hand over a couple of wailing kids, saying, “I can’t do this anymore!”
- I appreciate how you know exactly how our toddler likes his pizza cut (in rectangles!) and how our older son prefers to be tucked in with the blanket opening on the left side of the bed.
- And right now, thank you for taking those two cranky kids to the park so I could pen this heartfelt note to you.
Sometimes, dads get a bad reputation. I’m fully aware that many fathers abandon their families or, even if they’re physically present, don’t understand what it means to be an involved dad. But let’s take a moment to celebrate the great dads—the ones who show up and truly get it.
I know it can feel overwhelming at times, but you’re building lifelong trust with your children. You’re providing them with a genuine, positive image of what a man can be. And you’re giving your partner a chance to breathe, to enjoy some well-deserved quiet moments. You’re allowing her to remember who she is outside of being “Mommy.” Most importantly, you remind her of the reasons she fell in love with you in the first place.
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In summary, a big shoutout to all the dads who excel at fatherhood! Your contributions make a world of difference, not just to your children but also to your partner.