Let’s face it: making mom friends is a lot like dating. You strike up a conversation, feel that spark, and then try to exchange contact info. Sometimes it works out, and sometimes you’re left hanging. And honestly, at 32 with a partner and two little ones, I’m not interested in the drama of “mom dating.” Over the years, I’ve figured out what I want and what I don’t, and I’m not sorry for being selective. Here are my deal breakers:
- Your Kid is Mean to Mine. Kids can be jerks sometimes—I get it. We’ve dealt with hitting and biting, just like everyone else. But I’m talking about those kids who are consistently aggressive or rude. If their behavior is unchecked and they’re unapologetic, I’m not letting my daughter spend time with them. I want her to know she deserves kindness and respect, and trust me, my protective instincts can kick in pretty quick.
- You’re Unkind to Your Child. Watching a parent mistreat their kid makes me uncomfortable. Whether it’s constant yelling, belittling, or cruel teasing, it’s just not okay. We all have our moments, but I believe every child should feel safe and loved. If I find myself wanting to give you a piece of my mind, it’s probably best I step back.
- You Reward Tantrums. It’s a slippery slope when my child sees yours getting rewarded for bad behavior. Suddenly, I’m dealing with a mini tantrum machine at home, and that’s not fun for anyone. Playdates should be enjoyable, not a recipe for chaos!
- You Think Sugar is Evil. Look, I’m all for healthy habits, but I love my cookies and cupcakes! If you’re constantly preaching about gluten, preservatives, and “clean eating,” it might be hard for us to connect. Moderation has its place, and sometimes a little indulgence is necessary for sanity.
- You’re Always Selling Something. I get it—supporting a family on one income can be tough. But if every conversation turns into a sales pitch, I’m out. When I do have a bit of extra cash (like after a surprise tax refund), I’d rather spend it on a babysitter and some fun, not on that latest product you’re pushing.
- You’re glued to your phone. Technology can really mess with our social skills. If you’re busy scrolling through social media while we’re having a chat, it’s gonna be hard to foster a real connection. It’s just plain rude, and I need more from a friendship than that.
- You’re a Constant Downer. Parenting can be tough, and I value friends who can vent. But if you’re always playing the victim, it drains the energy out of our time together. I need some balance—a chance to laugh, not just complain.
At the end of the day, I really don’t care about your parenting choices—whether you choose daycare or how you handle discipline. What I do know is that I don’t have the time or energy for relationships that feel like work. Friendship should lighten your load, not add to it. And that’s a deal breaker for me.
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In summary, I’m not here for stressful friendships. My time is precious, and I want to surround myself with people who make life easier and more enjoyable.