Updated: March 23, 2016
Originally Published: September 1, 2015
Having experienced both pregnancy and drunkenness (but don’t worry, never simultaneously), I’ve noticed quite a few parallels between these two states.
Emotions Run High
Pregnant: You might not be sobbing uncontrollably every moment, but at some point, an innocent memory of your childhood pet will have you in tears.
Drunk: You may not be a mess all night, but eventually, you’ll become that person who proclaims, “I love you, man!” or get choked up over a nostalgic tale of your beloved childhood pet.
Nausea Hits
Pregnant: If you aren’t one of the fortunate few who escape morning sickness, you’ll find yourself bent over the toilet, begging for some relief. Spoiler: Throwing up might not help, and you might just end up feeling worse.
Drunk: If you didn’t know when to stop, you’ll likely find yourself in a similar position, hoping for relief while dealing with the aftermath of too much fun. Spoiler: You may rally for a second round, but the hangover will hit hard.
Driving? Maybe Not
Pregnant: While there’s no law against driving when you’re heavily pregnant, the combination of leg cramps, a gigantic belly, and unpredictable contractions makes it wise to hand over the keys.
Drunk: Driving under the influence is a definite no-go. Just don’t do it.
Unplanned Naps
Pregnant: You sit down for a quick nap, only to wake up hours later, drooling on the couch, completely oblivious to what happened in between.
Drunk: You and your partner decide to have a cozy night with cocktails and Netflix. Before you know it, you’re out cold on the couch, with no recollection of the evening’s events.
Memory Lapses
Pregnant: Where did you leave your sunglasses? No idea. Your phone? Oh, it’s right there in your hand. Did you do laundry? Probably not, but that smell from the washer might suggest otherwise.
Drunk: Sunglasses? Who knows! Your phone? Oh, it’s in your shoe—how did it get there? Time for a snack instead.
Cravings Galore
Pregnant: You might find your cravings leading you to unexpected food choices. You have to eat to nourish that little human growing inside.
Drunk: Similarly, your late-night munchies will have you snacking on whatever you can find, despite not even knowing what you really want.
Frequent Bathroom Breaks
Pregnant: Your bladder is at the mercy of your expanding uterus. Get ready for a trip to the bathroom every 15 minutes!
Drunk: After breaking the seal, you’re on a bathroom schedule that rivals a toddler’s.
Wardrobe Malfunctions
Pregnant: You might realize you’ve been exposing your belly all day without even knowing it, and honestly, you just don’t care.
Drunk: You may find yourself flashing a bit more than intended, but at that moment, it’s the last thing on your mind.
Regretful Thoughts
Pregnant: As you approach delivery, you might wonder how anyone could endure this over and over again. You’ll think, “I’m never doing this again!” But then, after the baby is born, thoughts of “maybe one more time” sneak in.
Drunk: The morning after, you’ll swear to never drink again. But a few weeks later, you find yourself in a similar situation, wondering why you keep repeating this cycle.
Many of these similarities aren’t just coincidence, especially for those who might have found themselves expecting due to a night of too much fun and a lack of protection. For more insights on this journey, you might want to check out how to navigate the world of home insemination at Home Insemination Kit. If you’re curious about the process, Make a Mom offers an excellent resource on the topic. Additionally, for those looking into fertility options, the Cleveland Clinic’s podcast on IVF and fertility preservation is a great listen: IVF and Fertility Preservation.
In summary, whether you’re navigating pregnancy or a night out, the experiences can often feel strikingly similar, filled with emotional highs, unexpected naps, and some level of regret.