Updated: Jan. 25, 2016
Originally Published: Aug. 30, 2015
It feels like every other person I meet is expecting a baby right now! I actually know ten women who are due in the next six months alone—ten! And that’s not counting the countless others I see daily, all of us desperately eyeing the nearest air conditioner like it’s a lifeline. I’m not sure what happened nine months ago, but it seems like there was a massive no-pants party and everyone got the invite. Well done, everyone. A slow clap for your unprotected escapades.
With all this baby buzz, I’ve received a bunch of inquiries about my experience with unmedicated labor and any tips I might share. So, here’s a quirky list to help you navigate this wild journey!
- Find Your Mantra. My birth coach asked if I had a mantra I wanted to focus on during labor. She suggested something cosmic like “I am one with the universe,” but I opted for something a bit more direct: “GET OUT!” aimed at my baby. In the end, I discovered my own little mantra that echoed in my mind throughout the process: “Kill me, kill me, please god kill me.” It was oddly comforting!
- Get Creative. In the delivery room, I knew I wanted to avoid an epidural. So, I asked the nurse if they had laughing gas, which is gaining popularity in hospitals as a way to ease discomfort. Unfortunately, she informed me that my only option was the dreaded epi. So, I got a little imaginative and jokingly asked her to hit me over the head with a mallet to knock me out instead. When she refused, I may have called her a few names (sorry, nurse!). Laughter truly is the best medicine, though.
- Embrace Humor. As my baby was crowning, my medical team donned what looked like hazmat suits and fishing boots. All I could think was, “This is the weirdest orgy I’ve ever attended.” This thought made me chuckle and surprisingly helped with the pushing. Plus, it’s a great story to tell your kid later on!
- Create a Playlist. I made a birth playlist that included gems like Johnny Cash’s “Ring of Fire” and Ice Cube’s “You Can Do It (Put Your Ass Into It).” While I didn’t get to listen to it during labor, curating a collection of your favorite tunes can create a vibe and help you channel your energy. Let your music share in the struggle!
- Be Stubborn. The key to going unmedicated is sheer willpower. You have to want it more than anything else. Pain will be your constant companion, and you’ll likely be offered pain relief that sounds oh-so-tempting. Stay strong, and don’t give in unless you truly feel you need to. Only the most stubborn—or perhaps a bit insane—will succeed in this endeavor!
- Chat with Your Baby. Take a moment to have a heart-to-heart with your little one. Let them know you’d appreciate a speedy labor. My daughter heard my plea and arrived in just six hours! Because of her swift entry, she gets all the ponies. Clearly, my belly talks and bribes worked!
- Listen to Your Body. If the pain becomes unbearable and stubbornness isn’t cutting it, don’t hesitate to ask for the drugs. Remember, there’s no award for “toughest labor” and you deserve to create your own birth story. If you opt for medication, embrace it without guilt. At the end of the day, you still get your precious baby, and that’s the real magic.
For more tips and insights on your pregnancy journey, check out our other blogs like this one for more information. And if you’re exploring options for insemination, this resource is excellent for guidance.
In summary, unmedicated labor can be a unique and challenging experience, filled with humor, creativity, and a good dose of stubbornness. Remember to find joy in the process, no matter how chaotic it gets!