As my little one, Max, prepares to start kindergarten soon, I find myself pondering how to approach the school cafeteria meals. Reflecting on my own public school experience in the ’80s, I remember being strictly prohibited from buying lunch. My mother, overwhelmed by my allergies, struggled to find anything on the menu I could safely eat. Plus, she believed that the school meals were both unhealthy and unappetizing.
After taking a peek at the current lunch options in our district, it seems not much has changed. In just one week, choices include fried burgers, fried chicken, and fried cheese. Chocolate milk—sweet enough to be classified as dessert—is served daily. However, it’s not just the excessive salt, sugar, or animal fat that concerns me; it’s the bland, institutional vibe of the meals. I completely understand that creating nutritious and tasty meals on a budget for so many students is a tall order. But if my son is given the option between school food—which I suspect is only slightly more appealing than hospital fare—shouldn’t I encourage him to bring a packed lunch every single time?
Actually, I’m leaning towards a different approach, and here’s why: Growing up without the option of school lunches made them seem like forbidden fruit. The aroma of grilled cheese and tomato soup wafting through the hallways was a weekly torment. I still reminisce about American Chop Suey—a mix of elbow macaroni, ground beef, and tomato sauce—that I occasionally whip up using leftovers. My dietary restrictions drove me to extremes; I once binged on 17 Twinkies (a no-no due to allergies) and ended up in the hospital. I might be the only person in the country who daydreams about the lunches I missed out on three decades ago.
While I find the school lunches unappetizing, the truth is that’s just my opinion. Max recently had an unappetizing hamburger and soggy fries from a questionable diner and proclaimed it the best meal ever. I want to help him develop a discerning palate, but I also realize that he will learn at his own pace. Shielding him from certain foods by labeling them as “disgusting” could make them even more enticing.
I’ve been following the advice of parenting expert Ellyn Satter, who promotes a “division of responsibility” in feeding kids—parents determine what food is offered, while children decide how much to eat. So, while I could argue that I control what goes into his packed lunch, I believe completely forbidding the school lunch might backfire, creating a coveted category of food. For instance, Satter suggests occasionally letting kids enjoy a large plate of treats like Oreos, allowing them to indulge freely without judgment. This way, they learn to self-regulate.
I think this strategy applies perfectly to school lunches as well: we’ll review the menu together and choose a couple of days each week for him to buy lunch instead of packing it. This is important because school meals offer an early lesson in navigating a world filled with temptations that might not always be healthy or tasty. I appreciate Satter’s approach because it doesn’t require us to reject the surrounding culture—rather, it teaches kids how to make thoughtful choices in everyday life. When they grow up, they’ll need to handle vending machines, fast-food joints, and disappointing hotel breakfasts. We hope they maintain a generally healthy diet with home-cooked meals and plenty of fresh veggies, while still being able to enjoy a stale Danish at an office retreat without making a big fuss.
Who knows? Max might actually find the school lunches to be delicious, not disgusting! After all, today’s menus sometimes feature more nutritious options like kale salad and ginger-sesame coleslaw, which were nonexistent in my school days. Though I must admit, there’s one dish I wish would make a comeback: American Chop Suey.
In summary, allowing my son to try school lunches offers him a chance to explore food choices and develop a balanced perspective on nutrition. It’s all about giving him the freedom to navigate his preferences while still promoting a healthy eating lifestyle.