Updated: Aug. 3, 2023
Originally Published: Aug. 19, 2015
Fifteen years later, the shoebox filled with notes I once cherished is long gone—probably lost in the shuffle of moving boxes. With no physical reminders left, all I have are the vivid memories of my teenage years spent crafting intricate notes that shaped my early romances and deep friendships. Those little pieces of paper were where plans were hatched, alliances were strengthened, and emotions were artfully expressed—complete with colorful ink and hearts dotting the “i’s.” Each note was a blend of humor, poetry, and a tangible history that helped me relive those moments.
In nearly every memory from my youth, I can picture myself with a note in hand—curled up in bed, tucked inside an open math book during class, hidden in my locker, or folded neatly in my pocket. My father always said that those handwritten messages were vital to the experience of growing up, and I can’t help but wonder what my kids will be missing out on without the good ol’ notes as their late childhood language. How will they navigate love with just emojis and quick texts?
When I think of romance today, I can only reference my texting relationship with my husband, Daniel. Sure, we’ve been together since the start of the millennium, but our recent text exchange was about a grub we found on our driveway. We were pondering whether our yard had a pest problem. I can confidently say that a note on lawn grubs would never have been penned. Even when we’re trying to be sweet, our texts boil down to “luv u.”
On the flip side, those heartfelt paper notes allowed us to dig deep and express parts of ourselves in ways that technology and spoken words just can’t match. It’s a dying art, fading rapidly over the past decade and a half.
The last significant cultural reference to note-writing I can think of is from that classic Friends episode, “The One With the Jellyfish,” where Rachel pens an 18-page letter (front and back!) to Ross detailing her terms for taking him back. That episode encapsulated the note experience so perfectly that I can’t say I miss my shoebox.
Like in Friends, I’ve both received and delivered note soliloquies that led to joy, heartbreak, and even frustration. Those notes had a way of conveying messages without leaving room for misinterpretation; feelings went straight from heart to paper.
How do kids communicate their feelings now? I’m at a loss. Sure, love has thrived long before we had paper, and I know it will continue to flourish even if we abandon it completely. But I’m genuinely curious about how my kids will find the nuances of affection and express them through screens. I haven’t quite figured this out myself.
Maybe I need to jot my thoughts down on a piece of loose-leaf paper. For now, I’ll have to trust that my kids will navigate this new territory on their own while I text Daniel to remind him of the dry cleaning (wink emoji).
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Summary:
In a world dominated by digital communication, the charm of handwritten notes in shaping adolescent love and friendships is becoming a lost art. As parents, we wonder how our children will express their feelings in a text-driven landscape, and if they will miss out on the depth that comes from putting pen to paper.