Hey there, friends!
I’ve got something on my mind that I need to share. When your partner is working late, out of town, under the weather, or just temporarily unavailable, please, for all that’s good, stop calling it “Single Momming It.” I know you’re not trying to offend, but it’s just not the same. So let’s clarify what “Single Momming” truly means.
On most days—98 percent, to be exact—I’m the only one running the show. From those early morning wake-ups to late-night bedtime stories, I’m the one managing everything: potty training, meals, soccer practice, doctor visits, and all the emotional ups and downs that come with raising a child. Yes, I also get to enjoy the sweet moments, and I treasure each one.
But here’s the reality: I’m the sole contributor to the college fund, the one paying the bills, and the guardian of my child’s future—schooling, friendships, health, happiness—you name it, it’s all on my shoulders, 24/7. I’m lucky to have a wonderful boyfriend who loves my child, but at this point in our lives, none of these responsibilities fall on him, and they may never will.
I juggle a full-time job during the day while caring for my son, and when he’s asleep, I sneak in some more work to build a better future because I’m the one ensuring we have a roof over our heads and food on the table—and yes, those $65 soccer cleats too.
When I finally collapse into bed at midnight, my mind races with worries: Am I doing enough for my child? Did I spend enough quality time with him today? Will one devoted parent be enough to make him feel loved and secure? There’s no one to share a laugh with about the silly things he says or to remind me that every day is a fresh start.
And when I finally do get a moment to myself, whether it’s for a haircut, dinner with friends, or a doctor’s appointment, I have to find a sitter—which can be a challenge. Trust me, that alone is not cheap! It’s a luxury I don’t get to indulge in often. So please, I kindly ask you to think twice before claiming to understand what it’s like to be a single parent just because your partner had a busy week. I get it, you’re feeling overwhelmed too, and I empathize with your struggles.
But let’s be real: your temporary extra workload doesn’t compare to my permanent one. This path wasn’t my choice; I always envisioned raising my child with two loving parents. Life had other plans, and while I’m not looking for pity, I do want to highlight the difference in our experiences.
I love my child more than anything and am grateful for him every single day. I push through the exhaustion because he is worth it. This is our life, and I choose to smile even when I feel worn down. All I ask is that you recognize the distinction between our journeys. We’re all amazing moms with beautiful kids, doing our best in this parenting adventure.
So, can we agree to reserve the term “Single Momming It” for those of us who truly live this reality?
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In summary, while we all face unique challenges in parenting, let’s be mindful of the terminology we use. Not all parenting struggles are the same, and recognizing that difference can foster a deeper understanding among us.