Today marked the first day of 2nd grade for my eldest! I woke up an hour before my alarm at 5:30 a.m., buzzing with excitement like it was Christmas morning.
I went all out with the classic back-to-school breakfast: I whipped up pancakes using that instant mix from the bottle that you just add water to and shake vigorously (and yes, I made sure to put on a bra—gotta keep it classy in case the neighbors were watching).
After laying out Kyle’s navy blue uniform shorts, I told him to ignore the lint all over them—clearly washing them with new towels was a blunder! I made sure his sneakers were double-knotted, too.
We missed the bus, but I reassured him there was still time to use the carpool line. I managed to wrangle the other sleepy kids and pile them into our trusty old van. (Kyle has been adamant for months that he wants to be a “quantum botanist.” Last year, he wanted to be just a regular scientist. I’m not sure what sparked the change, but I found myself Googling “quantum botanist” before my morning coffee, and let me tell you, that was a whirlwind!)
As we queued up at the school, I thought, “This is the moment!” That magical instance when you connect with your child, and they grasp the depth of your love (until you find yourself yelling “DON’T EAT THE SOAP FROM THE BATHROOM SINK!” again).
Turning around to face him, I blinked back tears and said, “Kyle, I’m so proud of you. I hope your day is amazing! Your siblings will miss you tod—”
At that exact moment, the teacher on carpool duty swung open our van door. Kyle jumped out and yelled, “LATER, LOSERS!!!” at the top of his lungs.
The teacher froze for a moment, and I just smiled awkwardly, shouting “HAVE A FANTASTIC DAY!” as if that was our family’s usual farewell. Meanwhile, her expression remained unchanged as she closed the door.
You know what? Next time I drop my kids off, I’ll give them a kiss and, as they wave sweetly, I’ll roll down the window of our old van and shout, “LATER, LOSERS!!!” as I drive off. Because this is how we roll, LOSERS!
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In summary, parenting can be a wild ride, especially on the first day of school. Embrace the embarrassing moments, because they make for the best stories!