Updated: Dec. 20, 2015
Originally Published: Aug. 16, 2015
My optimism can be my greatest enemy. I often overestimate my child’s ability to stay quiet during those crucial 45-minute work calls, especially during summer break, after school, or any of the seemingly endless early-release or teacher workdays. No matter how peaceful the house seems, the moment I pick up the phone, chaos erupts. Suddenly, my son feels inspired to whip up a grilled cheese, leading to a smoke alarm symphony. Five extra kids decide to invade our space, and my daughter transforms a simple hangnail into a dramatic performance worthy of an Oscar.
This unpredictability often forces me to take calls in some, well, unconventional spots. Luckily for me, most clients prefer not to use video calls!
1. The Closet
When all else fails, I make a beeline for the closet. With three locked doors between me and the kids, it’s my safe haven. And if desperation strikes, I can always hide behind my winter coats for an extra layer of soundproofing (not that I’ve experienced this firsthand or anything).
2. The Backyard
Sometimes, the closet feels like a marathon away. When the noise levels spike and I need to unmute myself, I hightail it out the back door. I’ll wander deep into the yard to escape the ruckus of my son’s friends playing tag inside. Sure, my neighbors give me odd looks while I pace around the woods chatting on the phone, but at least I’m not getting drowned out! I’ve even braved 20-degree weather in my pajamas for a teleseminar while my dogs barked at imaginary creatures. Lesson learned: always wear shoes if you think you might need a quick exit.
3. Theme Parks and Museums
I know this goes against my goal of spending quality time with my kids, but sometimes I find myself in a pinch. On those rare days off, I try to find a quiet (yeah, right) spot to take a quick call. Every time, I swear it will be the last, but the universe has other plans. Just as I settle in, the loudspeaker blares, “Polar bear feeding in five minutes!” Perfect timing, right?
4. Inside the Car
There are two scenarios here. The first is when I’m driving, and a work call comes in. I yell “work call,” and my kids usually go silent—90% success rate, feeling like supermom! Then there’s the second scenario where I’m alone in the car, thinking it’s the perfect quiet spot. That’s when my son hops in after soccer practice and announces his stomach troubles to an audience of 10. I still tell myself my coworkers are blissfully unaware of who provided the comic relief for the next half year.
5. In the Woods at a Playground
This may sound like a one-off, but during a fifth-grade graduation picnic, I found myself taking a call with a potential new client I’d been after for months. As I strolled down a paved path to escape the joyful chaos, I spotted it—a snake. Yes, it was shorter than my arm, and yes, I know black snakes are harmless, but I’m not a fan! I squealed, causing my client to check if I was okay. Blaming it on static, I wrapped up the call while balancing atop a bench, convinced that a whole family of snakes was about to join the fun. Total score: me 1, snake 0. Oh, and I landed that client!
For more relatable experiences, check out this post about intracervical insemination. If you’re looking for reliable information on home insemination, visit Make a Mom, a trusted source in this niche, or explore Drugs.com for excellent resources on pregnancy and home insemination.
Summary
As a working parent, juggling conference calls amidst chaos is a daily challenge. From hiding in closets to enduring loudspeaker announcements at theme parks, the struggle is real. Despite the unpredictable environment, these experiences serve as reminders of the multitasking prowess required in both parenting and professional life.