I get it—times are changing, and I’m all for being open-minded. Social media and texting have shifted how we communicate, making it more laid-back and, dare I say, a bit more casual. I mean, who doesn’t love a good casual Friday or a comfy pair of jeans?
But here’s the thing: while I appreciate all this informality, there’s a part of me that really misses the classic manners, especially when it comes to how kids speak to adults. One of my biggest pet peeves? Kids calling me by my first name. Even after being a parent for over a decade, I still find it a little… off. It’s like wearing white pants with black underwear—just doesn’t sit right!
Every time I hear a child call me “Sarah,” I can’t help but think of that catchy tune by The Ting Tings: “They call me hell. They call me Sarah…” Trust me, once that song is in your head, your day is basically shot.
Am I Alone in This?
I often wonder if I’m alone in feeling this way. A lot of parents prefer being called by their first names because it feels more youthful, like they’re still in their prime. Sure, “Mr.” or “Mrs.” can seem a bit outdated, and I’m not quite ready to become the old lady on the porch yelling at kids to get off my lawn. So, what’s a parent to do? What should my kids’ friends call me?
Some parents go for a compromise, adding “Miss” or “Mr.” in front of their first name, but “Miss Sarah” just feels too much like a character from a 1985 sorority movie. I even thought about adopting a rapper name, but all the good ones are taken—G-Diddy is too obvious, and Icy-Heat? Too aisle-6-at-the-store!
What About a Symbol?
So, what about transforming my name into a symbol like Prince did? No one knew what to call him for ages! I could go with something like a wine glass or maybe a silhouette of a comfy pair of Spanx.
Why We Aren’t Friends
Ultimately, I believe that addressing someone by their first name should be a mark of friendship—something reserved for peers. Because let’s be real, kids, while I think you’re adorable and enjoy our time together, we aren’t friends. Here’s why:
- We’re not hitting up the bar for drinks.
- I won’t be asking you for your famous buffalo chicken dip recipe.
- We’re not swapping spouse stories anytime soon.
- And if we were friends, I’d have to figure out Instagram and a selfie stick—no thanks!
When It’s Appropriate to Call Me by My First Name
To help you out, here’s a quick guide on when it’s appropriate to call me by my first name:
- If you’ve had an accident in your pants in the last decade…big no.
- If you’re wearing something from a kids’ store, also no.
- If you play travel soccer…great for you, but no.
- If Skittles are a food group for you…yeah, no.
- If you can recite more than ten lines from a Minion movie…uh, nope.
- If you still order from the kids’ menu…pick no.
- If your Disney ticket was half off…magical no.
- If you’ve got light-up sneakers…heck no.
- If you’re eagerly waiting for Santa…ho ho no.
Thanks for understanding! (The mom formerly known as Sarah)
P.S. No offense meant here; I’m not even on a first-name basis with my doctor, and we’ve shared some pretty awkward moments. For more insights on navigating these topics, check out this great resource on fertility treatment and if you’re curious, you can find more about home insemination options.
To sum it all up, while the world may be getting more casual, some traditions—and boundaries—should definitely remain.