Back to School in the 1970s
- As August winds down, gather the kids for a shopping trip downtown. Head to a local department store for back-to-school outfits. Grab some corduroy pants and striped tees, along with dungarees for the boys and culottes for the girls. Sorry, Lucy, but that orange and red poncho is a no-go—promise to crochet her something with even more fringe later. Don’t forget to pick up the rainbow fuzzy yarn that’s all the rage for hair accessories! Total cost? Just $43. Wrap it up with a trip to Woolworth’s for grilled cheeses and chocolate milk.
- The night before school kicks off (ah yes, the Sunday after Labor Day), toss everyone in the back of the station wagon and race to the local discount store to grab lunchboxes. Hurry them along, reminding them that bedtime is approaching and they really don’t want to miss out on the Wonderful World of Disney. If Kimberly can’t decide between Holly Hobbie and The Bionic Woman, you might just have to choose Pigs in Space for her. Pick up a composition book and a pack of pencils while you’re at it. Don’t forget to save some grocery bags to cover their textbooks!
- Treat yourself to a pack of Virginia Slims on the way out, lighting up three of them before you get home.
- Come morning, brew yourself a cup of Sanka with Sweet ‘n’ Low. Line up those lunchboxes on the Formica countertop and get to work.
- Assemble sandwiches factory-style: spread yellow mustard on Wonder Bread, add bologna, slap on an American cheese slice, and wrap it all up in foil or wax paper. Every child gets the same lunch. No exceptions.
- Alternative sandwich options? Think peanut butter and jelly, peanut butter and fluff, or last night’s leftover roast beef. Tuna fish with big chunks of onion and celery mixed in Miracle Whip is always a hit too!
- Toss some Planter’s Cheese Balls into baggies and seal them.
- Grab the Twinkies from the box—one for each lunchbox.
- Fill thermoses with Kool-Aid or whole milk.
- Toss in a Red Delicious apple, knowing full well it will return uneaten, but that’s okay—you can just keep rotating it until it’s practically a science experiment.
- Close those lunchboxes up. They’ll grab them on their way to the bus stop along with a frosted Dutch apple Pop-Tart. Cue Barry Manilow on the record player and enjoy the peace until dinner.
Back to School Today
- Take a deep breath, repeat a positive mantra, and relax. There’s still a bit of time before school starts. No need to panic about ordering BPA-free bento boxes or eco-friendly tiffins. With Amazon Prime, two-day shipping is your best friend. You can even read reviews while your kids are at summer “camp” (which is really just school in disguise). Remember that day when everything went wrong with the glitter cloud dough? Yeah, that was exhausting.
- One week later, the bento boxes and tiffins arrive, along with the school’s extensive supply list: three and a half pages long, including a ten-pound bag of flour and a Costco-sized pack of toilet paper.
- Launch an online search for stylish, eco-conscious backpacks. Don’t forget to monogram them!
- Hit the mall for a total wardrobe overhaul from high-end stores. Expect to spend around $2,387.07 on your credit card.
- Consider taking the kiddos to a child psychologist to help them get ready for the upcoming school year.
- Review the allergy list from the school. It’s critical to know what to avoid so you don’t inadvertently send someone into anaphylactic shock. Make notes while you shop at Whole Foods.
- Purchase school supplies for your kids, separate from the classroom supply list. They’ll need everything from paper and pens to a graphing calculator and a centrifuge.
- Grocery shopping at Whole Foods for lunch items can take over four hours as you meticulously check labels for organic, non-GMO, gluten-free options. You leave with a few items and a $76.19 bill.
- The night before school starts, prepare the bento boxes: cut organic strawberries into sea creature shapes, make vegan sandwiches, and snap a pic for Instagram.
- Write an encouraging note with an inspirational quote for your child.
- Add some fun stickers to the mix.
- Fill a water bottle with filtered water and pack a box of chilled coconut water too—hydration is key!
- Share your experience on social media and hope it goes viral.
- Rise at 4 AM on the first day of school. Create welcome signs for each child and set up a photo booth with balloons and bunting.
- Whip up pancakes shaped like letters of the alphabet.
- Dress the kids in matching outfits and spend half an hour capturing the perfect shots.
- Drive them to school.
- Once they’re in their new classrooms, retreat to your car for a good cry. But hey, you’ll be back in six hours to drive them to Synchronized Swimming, Cello, and Urdu classes!
Summary:
From the simplicity of the 1970s back-to-school preparations to today’s complex, eco-conscious approach, the process has dramatically evolved. While parents of yesteryear focused on basic outfits and simple lunches, today’s parents juggle extensive supply lists, allergy concerns, and trendy bento boxes. Despite the stress, both eras share a common goal: equipping kids for a successful school year.