You really wanted to take a stroll to the local ice cream shop with your little brother during our beach vacation. “I’m 12 now, Mom,” you insisted, “almost 13. Please?” After some back and forth, your dad and I decided to give you a taste of independence, even if it was just a few doors down. We agreed you could grab an ice cream, dip your toes in the sand, and then come back home.
We laid out the rules and told you when to return. You assured us you understood, and as we watched you and your brother walk away, we marveled at how quickly you were growing up.
But then, when the clock struck your return time, you were nowhere to be found. Late. Really late. So late that we had to hunt you down at the beach, only to be greeted by half-hearted excuses and dramatic eye rolls.
And the worst part? An apology that never materialized. Somehow, it felt like our fault that you were late and that we were upset. “It was only five minutes, ten at most! What’s the big deal?” you retorted, rolling your eyes again.
We had a serious talk about trust, responsibility, and managing your time. We discussed the future, when you would have more freedom, but only after demonstrating maturity and respect for our house rules. Yet you stood firm, declaring, “I really don’t think I’m wrong here.” Classic rookie mistake. I was both taken aback and impressed by your stubbornness, which reminded me of your toddler days.
That night, you went to bed without admitting any fault, reminiscent of the times you were sent to bed early for your 3-year-old defiance. The battle of wills continued into the next morning. You were sitting at the kitchen table, staring at your cereal with all the tween angst you could muster, while I downed my coffee, wondering how I ended up with a kid who wouldn’t apologize. Where did I go wrong?
And then it dawned on me: I hadn’t taught you how to say “I’m sorry” in a way that resonates with a tween. When you were little, I had you repeat those words without any real understanding when you were unkind or broke rules. You learned through actions, not words, because that’s how toddlers grasp concepts. They need to see apologies demonstrated.
But you aren’t a toddler anymore! We’re venturing into a whole new realm filled with hormones and drama. Your body is changing, your opinions are solidifying, and you crave independence. But when that independence is given in small doses, it can feel overwhelming. Honestly, it’s just as confusing for me.
Just as I navigated your toddler years, I now find myself tackling your tween years. We survived those toddler tantrums, the time-outs, and the positive reinforcements, and slowly but surely, you learned. I taught you how to be a toddler.
As I reminisce about your stubborn little self throwing tantrums, I realize we’ve come a long way. Those time-outs worked after the 402nd try! But as I look at your now-chiseled cheeks over your cereal, I understand it’s time once again to guide you through another phase of childhood.
I will teach you how to navigate the tween world. I’ll be firm, consistent, and resolute. You’ll push, but I’ll push back, helping you understand that genuine apologies are essential. Not just a quick, irritated “I’m sorry,” but heartfelt expressions of regret. You will learn the art of saying, “I was wrong. What can I do to make it right?” And you’ll practice this at home so that you’re prepared for real-world situations.
For now, as your hazel eyes meet mine and you sheepishly mutter an apology, I’ll accept it. We have work to do, my dear, but for now, I’ll simply say, “I know,” and wait for the next opportunity to teach.
If you’re looking for more parenting gems or tips on navigating the world of home insemination, be sure to check out this resource for more insights. And don’t forget to explore Progyny’s blog for excellent information about pregnancy and home insemination. If you’re seeking fertility boosters, check out this authority on the topic.
In summary, parenting a tween comes with its unique challenges and lessons. As we navigate this new phase, I’ll strive to teach the importance of genuine apologies and responsibility while also embracing the journey together.