As a new mom, I remember the well-meaning comments from seasoned parents of older kids. They’d reminisce about their own parenting journeys or offer unsolicited advice, and while I knew I’d eventually find myself in their shoes, their words sometimes felt like tiny jabs. Exhausted and proud, I often brushed their remarks aside with a hint of irritation.
Now, having journeyed a bit further down the parenting path, I understand the urge seasoned parents have to share their wisdom. It’s as if we’re bonded by a sisterhood, compelled to connect and support one another.
When I hear a mother with young children express her frustrations about sleepless nights and temper tantrums, I resist the urge to say things like, “Just wait, it gets easier!” or “Phew, I’m glad those days are behind me!” I know these remarks, though well-intentioned, can come across as dismissive.
It’s easy to feel relieved at having left those challenging years, but I’ve come to realize that my sighs of relief should stay internal.
Conversely, I often find that mothers of littles regard my own experiences with teens and tweens with a mix of horror and disbelief. “Teenagers today are terrifying!” they declare, and I can’t help but feel a twinge of defensiveness. Just because they’re older doesn’t mean they’re unrecognizable! These years, while different, are filled with deep conversations and a chance to truly know my kids as individuals.
It’s tempting to share those thoughts, but instead, I often catch myself saying, “Oh, you’ll understand one day.” And yet, I must admit that seasoned moms and new moms can often roll their eyes at each other—defending our own unique approaches to parenting that reflect our individual experiences.
A new mom might dismiss my parenting decisions, just as I may not understand hers. When she questions why my preteen wears lipstick or why my teen plays video games, it can feel like an attack. But the truth is, we’re both navigating the same battlefield of motherhood, just at different points in time. Our struggles are valid, and no one’s experience is superior.
In the end, what we truly need is grace. I have to remind myself that she’s doing her best with the tools and knowledge she has at her disposal, just like I did. By listening and showing genuine interest in her journey, we can learn from each other and grow together in this wild ride of motherhood.
For me, sometimes that means simply biting my tongue and refraining from comments that could inadvertently undermine her experience.
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Summary:
Navigating the complexities of motherhood involves understanding and grace, whether you’re a seasoned parent or just starting your journey. By listening and supporting one another, we can foster a sense of community, celebrating our unique experiences without judgment. After all, we’re all in this together, just at different stages.