37 Reasons I’m Struggling to Embrace the Moment of Motherhood

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Sometimes, I find myself voicing my frustrations about motherhood. And every time I do, someone inevitably offers that same well-meaning advice: “Enjoy it while it lasts. Live in the moment. Soak it all in. EMBRACE IT.” My instinct is to roll my eyes and stifle a punch to their face—not because their advice is bad; in fact, it’s some of the best advice out there. But knowing they’re right only makes their words that much more irritating when I can’t seem to fully embrace the present.

So, I’ve compiled a list of reasons why I’m having a hard time embracing the moment. Here it goes:

1. I’m so exhausted that I recently told someone I had a daughter. Yep, my baby is a boy.
2. It’s tough to be present when my energy comes from 12,000-calorie, 25 grams of fat, 40 tablespoons of sugar, and 6-shot iced coffee drinks.
3. There’s a time each day when I feel like I might actually collapse from fatigue, but then I discover a drive-through espresso place, and suddenly, I feel like I can survive ONE MORE DAY.
4. But then I remember that if I keep this up, I’ll never lose the 30 pounds I’m lugging around. Yet I do it anyway because, well, survival.
5. Speaking of survival, I think there’s baby poop under my pinky nail.
6. I made eggs for breakfast, but my toddler insists that she “Only eats eggs on TUESDAYS!” Cue the 30-minute tantrum, despite her having no clue what day it actually is.
7. It’s so hot that I can’t bear to wear my “quality” nursing bra—it’s unbearably itchy! But the comfy one from Target gave me a clogged duct, so I’m stuck with the itchy one or risking a milky wardrobe malfunction.
8. So my choices are: uncomfortable and hot or uncomfortable, wet, and milky. (Embrace that, right?)
9. I’ve been taking my postpartum pills religiously, but occasionally I wake up convinced I’ve A.) ruined my life and B.) permanently messed it up.
10. My toddler just made a mess on the pool deck.
11. Sometimes, my 12-year-old son and 8-year-old daughter bicker so incessantly about the dumbest things that I pack up the wild toddler and screaming newborn just to escape for 15 minutes.
12. Of course, once we arrive at the park, they sit beside me and whine that it’s too hot.
13. And my nursing bra itches.
14. Then I usually blurt out something regrettable like “GO AWAY NOW.”
15. And then I feel guilty because I know time flies and I should be carpe diem-ing it.
16. I embraced motherhood 15 minutes ago, and now I just want to sit here and play Candy Crush, pretending I’m still young and living in Barcelona.
17. There are so many demands on me all day long that your voice becomes just another in the chorus of requests, and consequently, I don’t even hear you.
18. When you tell me to “embrace the moment,” it makes me feel worse for not doing it right.
19. This leads me to think about how my tween will be 18 in just six years. Instead of savoring the now, I’m wondering where the last 13 years went.
20. Money is on my mind. Specifically, how we have none.
21. I’m wondering how I’m going to write that article due tonight when my baby thinks the only acceptable activities are nursing, sleeping against me, and pooping.
22. I find myself crying over nothing.
23. My kids ask why I’m crying over nothing.
24. I remind myself to never watch those heart-wrenching rescue elephant videos again.
25. It’s 4 PM, and I suddenly realize my kids need to eat. Again. Why must they eat so often?
26. Our dog escaped through the broken fence. I need to fix the fence, and I really love that dog. Sorry, dog. (No worries, we found him.)
27. Look, I AM embracing motherhood, just not at this particular moment. Why isn’t that okay? I love my kids, just not at this second. Isn’t every job annoying at times?
28. If I were a lawyer and hated doing time entry, would you tell me to “enjoy it”? No, but here we are.
29. Motherhood is often painted as precious, but sometimes it’s just not.
30. I worked late into the night, and my baby woke up at 3 AM, refusing to sleep until 5 AM. My toddler then bounced into my bed at 6 AM saying, “I’m here to cuggle!”
31. It’s hard to embrace anything when my head is pounding and my arms are pinned beneath a fussy newborn and a squirming toddler.
32. It’s 5 AM, and I’m using that snot-sucking device on my newborn, praying he’ll finally sleep.
33. But I can’t sleep because I’m convinced he has whooping cough.
34. I hop on Google to check whooping cough symptoms. What time does the pediatrician open?
35. Oh great. It’s 6 AM! Time for toddler cuddles!
36. My kitchen smells like a blend of vomit and mildew.
37. My voicemail is 90% full, and I absolutely despise voicemail. Text me, people. TEXT!

So there you have it. 37 reasons I’m struggling to embrace the moment. Yet, there’s still a glimmer of hope. I might find joy in the tiny moments, like when my toddler beams with pride after her swimming lesson or when my baby tries to nurse a toy. And yes, I can already see my coffee waiting in the stroller like a silent beacon of hope.

So please, for the love of all things sacred, stop telling me to embrace the moment. I’m doing my best to embrace what I can, just like every other mom out there. And honestly? I embraced the moment yesterday.

If you’re interested in more about motherhood and its challenges, check out this insightful piece on intracervicalinsemination.org. And if you’re considering at-home insemination, Make A Mom offers a great selection of kits. For more information on pregnancy and home insemination, visit the CDC.

In summary, motherhood is a wild ride filled with ups and downs, and it’s okay to not always feel like embracing every moment. We all have our struggles, but there are also fleeting moments of joy that make it all worthwhile.