At 35, I’m a woman with a wardrobe that spans sizes 4 to 14. You know the situation. My body has changed—what once was smooth is now, well, a little less so. My legs bear the marks of time with varicose veins criss-crossing like an art project gone wrong. Low-rise jeans? Let’s just say they’ve become expert at showcasing my butt crack. And those low-cut tops? Stretch marks are now my cleavage’s new friends, giving off a vibe that’s more crepe paper than chic.
Fortunately, I’ve moved beyond the struggle of accepting my “mom bod.” Now, I’m all about enhancing, tucking, and cleverly boosting my figure, because let’s face it—this is as good as it’s gonna get. Forget about yearning for those juniors-sized jeans; I’m proudly rocking WOMEN’S-SIZED jeans, thank you very much.
Despite having enough life experience to know how to dress properly, stepping into a clothing store still leaves me bewildered. I navigate my way to the right section (definitely not juniors), and then the confusion begins.
Everything seems either too matronly or way too revealing, and I can’t help but feel like I’ve already done the fashion circuit in middle school (stonewashed jeans? Really?!), high school (flannel is back? Ugh!), or college (midriff tops are just a bad memory). After sifting through rack after rack, I finally collect a few items that seem promising and head to the fitting room.
Fitting rooms are perhaps one of the most humbling places in a woman’s life. I’ve struggled with countless dresses and swimsuits, sometimes feeling thrilled and other times, well, not so much. But nothing prepared me for the moment I recently experienced, standing in front of a three-way mirror questioning, “Is this a shirt? Too long for that. A dress? Too short for sure. A tunic? Is it bohemian or just plain trashy? What is this?!”
And that’s when I really felt my age.
Despite the confusion, I decided to purchase the garment, whatever it was. At the register, the two twenty-something cashiers smiled at me.
“What is this?” I asked.
They exchanged glances. “It’s a dress,” one finally said.
“Are you sure? Because it’s quite short.”
One of them nodded enthusiastically. “Totally a dress! I mean, you could wear jeggings underneath if you wanted to… but I wouldn’t.”
That’s when the reality hit me. While I may dress like I’m still 25, I draw the line at letting my backside be the main attraction. “Uh, yeah, I’m not comfortable with my rear end hanging out. I’m just going to pretend it’s a shirt because it’s really cute.”
Silence fell.
“I’m old,” I whispered.
“I’m 35 and have three kids at home,” I added sheepishly.
Suddenly, the light bulb went on for them. “Wow, you look amazing for having three kids!”
“Thanks?” I replied, still processing the moment.
“Here’s your receipt, ma’am. Have a great day!”
They called me “ma’am.” And just like that, I was reminded: Damn, I’m getting older.
This article was originally published on Aug. 6, 2015.
For more intriguing insights into parenting and fashion, check out our other posts on home insemination kits, such as this helpful resource on the terms and conditions. Also, you might find valuable information at Make A Mom about at-home insemination kits and related topics. For further reading, Rmany offers excellent resources on pregnancy and home insemination.
In summary, navigating the fashion world as a 35-year-old mother can be a disorienting experience. As we embrace our changing bodies, it’s important to remember that self-acceptance and humor go hand in hand. After all, it’s not just about the clothes we wear; it’s about the confidence we exude.