This article is part of a three-part series, “Heading Off to College,” which focuses on preparing your teens for life away from home. In June, we explored essential conversations to have with your soon-to-be college freshmen and what factors contribute to their success during this pivotal first year. Last month, we shared tips on dorm shopping and budget-friendly strategies.
August is a month of transition, filled with the practicalities of moving our kids to their new school and adjusting to our own lives without them. It’s a complex blend of excitement and sadness, a rollercoaster of emotions that feels as intense as when they first entered our lives almost two decades ago.
As the days count down, the ticking clocks become louder. At first, you see months, then weeks, and finally days. I often reminded myself that I could experience the hurt now or save it for later. When asked by a media personality how I was coping with my child leaving for college, I was honest: denial. I understood that worrying wouldn’t help me or my teen; it would only weigh us down. I knew it would be a tough moment when I walked away from the dorm, so I delayed those thoughts as long as possible.
Here are three steps to help you gear up for move-in day and the separation that follows:
1. Prepare for Move-In Day
Check the university’s website for the move-in schedule and any programming designed for parents or students. Attending family orientation can help you feel more connected to the community your child is joining. Don’t forget to look up the dates for parents’ weekend—if you’re not in a major city, book your accommodations early to avoid last-minute scrambles.
Some families like to arrive a day or two early to familiarize themselves with the campus, while others prefer to show up just before move-in. I personally chose to make it quick and bittersweet: unpack my kid and head out. Lingering felt like intruding on their new adventure.
On move-in day, consider visiting the health center to have your child sign a release form for medical emergencies. It’s a simple step that could be a lifesaver if the need arises.
2. Plan Your Farewell
You’ll realize how out of place you are after making your child’s bed in the dorm. After orientations and meeting new people, it’ll be time for you to leave. Most schools have a designated goodbye moment. Ignoring this cue might make you “That Parent” who just can’t let go. It’s best to keep the farewell brief; just like ripping off a Band-Aid, quick is usually better.
Colleges are aware of this emotional upheaval and encourage parents to leave sooner rather than later. While many parents admit to shedding tears on the drive home, try to stay composed while still on campus. Your kid is navigating their own emotional journey, and it’s best not to add to their worries.
Marshall P. Duke, a psychology professor with decades of experience, emphasizes how rare and significant this day is. He encourages parents to seize the opportunity to share meaningful thoughts with their children—life lessons, hopes, and well wishes that will resonate long after they leave for college.
So, plan out your move-in day, say goodbye when the school indicates it’s time, and leave a heartfelt letter with encouraging words for your child’s journey ahead.
3. Establish Communication
Stay in the loop regarding campus happenings by reading the university’s daily newspaper online, subscribing to parent newsletters, or checking the parent page for important dates. There are parents’ associations that can provide insight into campus life without being intrusive.
While it’s often advised to give kids space, especially at first, don’t hesitate to check in regularly. Freshmen often face homesickness, and a simple text or call can remind them that they’re not alone. As you both navigate this new communication dynamic, be patient with each other.
Think back to when they played at the park, occasionally running to you for reassurance. College is a similar experience, just a bit more grown-up. They’re letting go of childhood, and so are we.
This article was originally published on August 3, 2015.
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In summary, moving off to college is a significant milestone filled with mixed emotions. By planning move-in day, coordinating goodbyes, and establishing communication, you can navigate this transition more smoothly. Embrace the change, celebrate their achievements, and remember to cherish these unique moments.