I hold three degrees in psychology and counseling, yet I seem to be missing the one credential that parents want most when seeking advice: children. Friends and even strangers often turn to me for guidance on personal dilemmas. It appears I possess a unique ability—sometimes a burden—to listen and analyze. This knack naturally led me to pursue a career in counseling over a decade ago.
Now, before you do the math, let me clarify: I was a late bloomer. I immersed myself in child and adolescent psychology, interpersonal dynamics, substance abuse, and addiction, ultimately choosing to work with preteens and teenagers. This age group is notoriously challenging, which is precisely why many of my peers steered clear. But I thrive on challenges.
As an adolescent counselor, I spent years working with youth from middle schoolers to college athletes. I co-facilitated groups, taught life skills, and led personal growth activities. Alongside my supervisor, I helped over 300 students annually through a university-funded in-school prevention program, collaborating with teachers and parents to give at-risk students the chance to flourish. My colleagues began to see me as the go-to expert on adolescents.
However, when it comes to parents, that’s a different story. Despite my experience and educational background, parents often have just one question for me: “Do you have kids?” When I answer negatively, any credibility I had seems to vanish. It’s baffling how, despite my years of experience, parents often dismiss my insights simply because I don’t have children of my own.
I get it, though. Would I trust Cesar Millan on dog training if he didn’t have his own pets? Probably not. Similarly, even those in addiction recovery often prefer counselors who have walked the same path. It’s not enough to have studied the material; they want firsthand experience.
Maybe I should have gone into pet psychology instead. Yep, it’s a real field! But hindsight is 20/20, and at 43, I’m not about to start a family just to gain respect from parents in my profession. Instead, I’ll continue to write and share my knowledge, hoping that someone out there realizes that while I may not have kids, I was once a kid myself. And that counts for something, right?
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In summary, despite my extensive background in child psychology, my lack of personal parenting experience leaves me unheard by many parents. Yet, I strive to share my knowledge, hoping to reach those who can appreciate insights from someone who once navigated the challenging terrain of adolescence.