“You’ll live to regret it!” my mom warned, shaking her head as she walked away. This was right after I excitedly revealed my first tattoo, a vibrant butterfly in shades of orange, yellow, and red, which I got during my solo trip across Europe at the age of 22. It was perched proudly on my sun-kissed right shoulder.
“What will you do when you’re a professional?” she called from the kitchen.
“I won’t be a professional!” I shot back, tossing my bulky backpack on the floor and kicking off my Birkenstocks (fashion statement, anyone?).
Turns out, she wasn’t entirely correct about that. I did become a lawyer, and guess what? That cheerful little butterfly never interfered with a single deposition or oral argument. To me, it’s a lasting reminder of an incredibly transformative time in my life. That butterfly symbolizes my adventurous, brave spirit—the free-spirited gypsy who hopped trains and traveled solo from country to country, following her whims.
Those months were a journey of self-discovery. I could go days without talking to anyone or make a new friend in a foreign city just by picking up a few words of their language. Most importantly, I became my own best friend, relishing my solitude as I climbed the Belfry in Bruges, sampled seafood in Bergen, and inhaled the sweet scent of tulips in Amsterdam—where I got my butterfly tattoo, by the way, while completely sober (at least for that hour).
I treasure those memories of backpacking through Europe at 22. It’s a version of myself I want to keep alive, and I do so through that little winged creature on my shoulder. She may be a tad faded now, but she still has spunk. Every morning, as I dry off after my shower, I greet her: “Hey there, adventurous self! Let’s tackle today, shall we?” So no, I’ve never regretted getting her.
My second tattoo came just before my wedding at 30. My husband and I decided to gift each other tattoos instead of traditional jewelry. (“Ever heard of the jewelry tradition, Kelly?” my mom quipped.) We tied the knot two months after 9/11, which was a deeply emotional time for everyone. I chose another butterfly, this time adorned with stars and stripes on its wings, located on my left hip (and yes, it stung a bit!).
There are tons of stories warning against getting tattoos to symbolize relationships since they’re permanent and relationships can be anything but. Sadly, my marriage ended after a decade. However, I’ve never looked at that tattoo with regret. My divorce, though tougher than the tattoo process itself, was amicable, and my ex-husband and I co-parent our amazing 9-year-old son. We communicate regularly, and he supports my new life. I genuinely respect him. While our marriage didn’t last, we still share good things, like our son and a friendship. So, I’m totally okay with having a tattoo that reminds me of those positive moments.
That second tattoo also represents the unity and resilience of our country during a challenging time. I felt proud to be American in those months following 9/11, and that feeling is something I want to hold onto. Ironically, my first tattoo celebrates my pride in who I was while exploring other countries, while my second embodies my honor in being a citizen of my homeland. Now, at 44—twice the age I was when I got that first tattoo—I’m happy to say both tattoos are still vibrant.
Many people (yes, Mom, I’m looking at you) shy away from tattoos due to their permanence. But that’s precisely why I love mine. In a world where so much is fleeting, it comforts me that my butterflies are always with me. Who knows where those photo albums from my travels or my wedding went? And I can’t say when I’ll return to Europe again—or if I’ll get married once more. But one thing’s for sure: my butterflies will never fly away.
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Summary
The author reflects on her tattoos, symbolizing pivotal life experiences. The first butterfly tattoo represents her self-discovery while traveling in Europe, while the second tattoo, acquired just before marriage, signifies pride in her country and a cherished relationship. Despite life’s changes, she finds comfort in the permanence of her tattoos, which serve as reminders of her journey and experiences.