Marriage is a rollercoaster ride, complete with exhilarating highs and some rather daunting lows. There are days when you might feel more like roommates than soulmates, and there might even be times when you question if you’ve drifted apart. Through our journey, my partner Jake and I have stumbled upon some valuable lessons about matrimony. Here are eight insights I wish I’d had before saying “I do.”
1. Start the Day on a Positive Note
We often hear, “Don’t go to bed angry,” but honestly, it’s even worse to wake up in a funk. Starting the morning with resentment can lead to a day filled with negativity. A little kindness in the morning can set a cheerful tone for the entire day.
2. Intimacy is Key
While the fiery passion may ebb and flow, intimacy should always be a constant. Whether it’s a passionate moment or a simple hug while preparing dinner, keep the connection alive with small gestures—kisses, touches, and playful banter make all the difference.
3. Love is Earned
Romantic love isn’t unconditional; it needs to be nurtured. Don’t let comfort breed complacency. Make an effort to express your love regularly and enjoy each other’s company, because it’s easy to forget how special your partner truly is.
4. Variety is the Spice of Love
Saying “I love you” can become a dull routine over time. Spice it up! Try phrases like, “I’m so grateful to have you,” or “You make my life infinitely better.” The right words can rekindle that spark.
5. Don’t Let Stress Spill Over
Life can be a handful, and parenting is a wild ride. Unfortunately, we sometimes take our frustrations out on those we love the most. Remember, being stressed is no excuse for unkind words. Take a breather—a walk or a moment alone can help you regain your composure.
6. Embrace Both Togetherness and Independence
Spending time apart is just as crucial as quality time together. A little distance can renew your appreciation for one another and keep things fresh.
7. Open Communication is Essential
Sharing your thoughts, feelings, and needs with your spouse is vital. Your partner can’t read your mind! If something’s bothering you, don’t dismiss it with a “nothing.” Find ways to communicate openly and honestly.
8. Teamwork Without Tallying
Marriage is all about balance. Both partners should share responsibilities, whether it’s chores or childcare. Avoid keeping score; just ensure there’s a spirit of reciprocity in your relationship.
There’s no magic recipe for a perfect marriage, but when you approach each other with kindness, openness, and love, you may find that you draw closer together than you ever thought possible. For more insights, check out this article on our other blog, which dives deeper into the topic of relationships.
And if you’re exploring fertility issues, consider visiting Make a Mom for expert advice and resources. Another great resource is the Genetics and IVF Institute, which offers valuable information on pregnancy and home insemination.
Summary
Marriage is a journey filled with ups and downs. Key lessons include starting the day positively, maintaining intimacy, and being proactive in expressing love. Open communication and teamwork are essential, alongside the acknowledgment that both time apart and together have their own benefits. Remember, a successful marriage requires effort, but the rewards are well worth it.