“Listen up, I’ve got one crucial piece of advice about marriage, and if you take it to heart, you won’t need much else. Dedicate 20 minutes every day to just the two of you. No matter how hectic life gets, you have to carve out time to genuinely connect.”
At first, I paused to absorb what he said, but it quickly clicked. I had already witnessed how busy weeks could leave us feeling distant, even when we were physically together. There were nights when we would crawl into bed after a marathon day, finally looking at each other without distractions—no screens, no stress, no plans or expectations. Those moments of simply saying “Hi!” made it clear how disconnected we had become. Too many of those days strung together left me feeling a bit off-kilter.
On the flip side, I also recognized how perfect our bond felt during vacations—when simply being together was our main priority. I cherished those ordinary moments in airports or long car rides, just the two of us against the world. It was blissful sitting on the couch, turning off the TV and pushing aside our devices, embracing each other and taking a deep breath.
In that moment, I realized my dad’s advice rang true. But, like any child talking to a parent, I had some questions.
“Does sharing a meal count?”
“Nope. You need to focus solely on one another.”
“Okay, but what if we can’t manage 20 minutes? Sometimes it feels like that’s impossible…”
“Then try for 15, 10, or even just 5.”
“Really? That still counts?”
“It’s not ideal, but it’s definitely better than nothing!”
“Got it. Thanks, Dad! I see how this could really work.”
With many of my friends walking down the aisle lately, I’ve been passing along my dad’s wisdom. Everyone seems to ponder it for a moment, but they inherently grasp its significance. They’ve gone on to share this nugget of wisdom with others, and I felt compelled to jot it down so even more couples can consider it.
Perhaps this simple idea could strengthen a marriage or two—or at the very least, inspire couples to reconnect for 20 minutes, truly see each other, and say “hi.”
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In summary, dedicating just a few minutes each day to focus on one another can significantly impact a marriage. Whether it’s 20 minutes or even just a few, the important thing is to reconnect and appreciate each other.