As a 37-year-old mom of two, I have a little secret to share: I feel like I’m just winging it through adulthood. Despite my best efforts—crafting grocery lists, trimming tiny nails, and scheduling dentist appointments—I can’t shake the nagging sense that I’m woefully unqualified to manage my own life, let alone the lives of my two small dependents. Here’s a humorous look at the signs that I might just be playing the role of an adult:
- Ironing? What’s That?
I don’t own an iron. After dragging my ironing board with me through multiple moves, I finally passed it on to my brother, who actually knows how to use it. Instead, I rely on the classic “throw it in the dryer with a damp washcloth” method. If that fails, the “hang it in the bathroom while I shower” tactic comes into play. I mean, come on, I shop at Target—how wrinkled can a cotton tank really get? - Dry Cleaning is for Grown-Ups
Aren’t adults supposed to take their clothes to the dry cleaners? In shows like Friends, they seem to be doing it all the time. When I mistakenly buy something labeled “Dry clean only,” I wear it until it’s practically a health hazard, then stuff it in my closet with a promise to take it to the cleaners. Spoiler alert: It never happens. - Buzzing Fears
I am absolutely terrified of bees. One sunny afternoon, I was sipping a cold drink when a wasp landed on the rim. I shrieked and flung the bottle into the air, watching it shatter on the ground. Adults are supposed to handle these situations calmly, not scream and scare their kids while they’re just trying to enjoy their sandbox time. - Balloon Fails
I can’t tie a knot in a balloon, and I’m not proud of it. I also fear balloons popping, a fear I’ve somehow passed down to my oldest child. You know that party game where you sit on a balloon? Yeah, not happening for either of us. I’m a total party pooper. - Parental Decision-Making Anxiety
When my kids ask me questions, I often glance around as if someone else must be in charge. “Can I watch another show? Eat a popsicle? Go to bed?” I feel more like their babysitter than their parent, even if I did give birth to them. - Champagne Corking is a No-Go
I always ask someone else to uncork the champagne. Just like the popping balloon incident, I’d rather avoid the spotlight of failure. I can’t handle fancy corkscrews either, so I politely pass the bottle along and pretend I’m sipping something non-alcoholic. - Directionally Challenged
Navigating malls and parking lots makes me break out in a cold sweat. I’ve been known to mutter under my breath and even shed a tear while trying to find my car. - Out of the Loop
I’m hopelessly out of touch with current events. When other adults discuss politics or the latest news, I nod along, pretending to understand. What exactly is fracking again? - TV Show Time Warp
We’re way behind on all the popular shows. We just finished Breaking Bad and are now diving into House of Cards. I’ve never watched Mad Men or Downton Abbey. I tried The Walking Dead, but that opening scene with the zombie kid? Nope, I was done. - Chopstick Mystery
Using chopsticks? I can’t even. It’s just plain embarrassing.
On my worst days, I remind myself that I still contribute uniquely to my family and society. After all, not every adult can quote obscure ’80s and ’90s movies, write scathing letters to subpar businesses, or spot typos on public signs. I suspect I’m not alone in grappling with “Adult Imposter Syndrome.” You’re faking it too, right? (Please say yes.)
For more insights on navigating adulthood, be sure to check out our other posts here at Home Insemination Kit. And if you’re looking for ways to boost your fertility, Make a Mom has some great resources. For comprehensive information on pregnancy and home insemination, visit Medical News Today.
Summary
Navigating adulthood can feel like an overwhelming game of pretend, particularly for those of us who struggle with feelings of inadequacy. From avoiding ironing and dry cleaning to fearing balloons and feeling out of touch with current events, many of us may secretly wonder if we’re truly adulting. Embracing these quirks and acknowledging our unique contributions can help ease the weight of Adult Imposter Syndrome.