I’m feeling drained. Not just a little tired, but the kind of weariness that comes from nurturing another human being. This isn’t the same exhaustion from chasing around a toddler, though. Sure, potty training was a wild ride, often leaving me flustered, but deep down, I knew my little one would eventually master the bathroom on her own.
Now, the tiredness I experience is entirely different. I feel a pang of guilt admitting my fatigue because my daughter is now a tween, and she’s eagerly counting down the days until she officially becomes a teenager. She can dress herself, keep her room somewhat tidy, and the thought of crawling into bed with me in the middle of the night would probably send her running for the hills. She not only feeds herself but could even whip up a meal if needed.
Yet this tiredness runs deeper than the late nights spent picking her up from friends’ houses or the early mornings for weekend activities. It’s an emotional fatigue borne from the heavy conversations about topics like domestic violence, sexting, and drugs. The harsh reality is that these issues are present in my child’s school and discussed among her peers.
This isn’t the constant barrage of toddler questions or the relentless noise that kept me on my toes. Instead, it’s the weariness that comes from wondering what she keeps to herself—the burdens of unspoken thoughts. There are tough questions I can no longer answer, injustices I can’t rectify, and pains that can’t be kissed away. That weight is exhausting.
All moms want to create a perfect world for their kids, but there comes a point when you realize you just can’t. Even if I had the perfect solution, I know I shouldn’t intervene. It’s astonishing how simply holding back your reactions can drain you.
When she’s feeling overwhelmed, it’s hard not to absorb that energy. I understand it’s my responsibility as a parent to avoid getting dragged into her dramatic moments. I try to remain that steady figure, but she often interprets my calmness as a lack of understanding of what she’s experiencing.
On her 12th birthday, I was taken aback by the realization that I was already two-thirds into my parenting journey with her. It hit me like a ton of bricks, and suddenly, the clock felt like it was ticking faster than ever. There’s so much I want to share and teach her over the next six years (fingers crossed!), but I know bonding experiences aren’t exactly at the top of her priority list. And all the mistakes I’ve made along the way? I’d love a do-over—not for my sake, but for hers.
Despite the exhaustion, I recognize how fortunate I am. I’m incredibly lucky to be the mom of a growing child, navigating this complex, beautiful stage of life. I’ve heard from friends that the teenage years can be even more draining, so I brace myself for what’s to come.
When I was expecting, a wise coworker once told me, “You’ll never sleep the same way again.” He was spot on. And now, I truly get how tired he must have been.
The saying about bigger kids bringing bigger problems rings true. I hope that someday, my worries will lighten, but I know they probably won’t. As Toni Morrison beautifully stated, “Grown don’t mean nothing to a mother. A child is a child. They get bigger, older, but grown? What’s that supposed to mean? In my heart, it don’t mean a thing.”
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In summary, parenting through the tween years is a unique blend of joy and exhaustion. The emotional and physical toll can be overwhelming, but the privilege of witnessing your child’s growth and challenges is undeniably rewarding.