At 38 years old, I’ve finally pinpointed my type. You’d think I’d have figured it out back in high school, but nope! I barely knew myself back then, let alone who I wanted in my life. As a teenager, I saw myself as a bit of an appendage—the “and” in “You should come to my party, and she can come too, I guess.” Though others insisted that wasn’t true, that’s how I felt in every social setting.
College brought a wave of new experiences. I bonded with my quirky roommate, who blasted Tori Amos from her speakers and occasionally had haircuts that resembled a DIY project gone awry. She wasn’t quite my type, but her music taste was on point. I dabbled with sorority life, but paying for friendships? No thanks! New Orleans had too many adventures waiting to be explored. I spent time with stunning girls who didn’t see their own beauty—nobody ate, everyone was sick, and I realized I didn’t belong there either. I cared for them but could never love them enough, so I left them behind at graduation.
Then came Boston, where I met my first strong woman. She taught me that I didn’t need to downplay my intellect to attract boys and helped me dodge countless wrong ones. However, when I moved to Connecticut, our friendship couldn’t survive the distance. I was asking too much and giving too little; once she got married and had a beautiful child, I wasn’t sure how to fit into the new landscape of our friendship.
Becoming a mom led me to my true find. During a preschool pickup, I spotted a fierce mama—pregnant with her second child, in the middle of a house move, and radiating a kind of anger that was both intimidating and magnetic. I was terrified and intrigued. She shot me a side-eye and left with her daughter, but I knew there was something there.
Slowly, we started chatting. I’d see her at pickups and birthday parties, exchanging snarky comments until one day she threw her head back and laughed at one of my jokes. That was it—I had found the friend I had longed for! She had wild curls, no pretenses, a love for challenges, and an incredible knack for detecting B.S.
I know many folks with lifelong friends, and others who thrive on socializing constantly. As an adult—especially as a mom—my time has become a precious commodity. Discovering this friendship has helped me identify the kind of women I want in my life and the type of woman I aspire to be. Since meeting her, I’ve surrounded myself with strong, opinionated, and incredibly intelligent women, and I’ve never felt happier.
Now, our differences are part of our charm. I’m a passionate hugger while she prefers to keep her hugs to a minimum. I’m all about spontaneity, and she’s the master planner. But together, we hold nothing back. I know that if I forget juice for my kids at the park, she’ll have extras stashed in her purse. And when she’s stressed to the max, I can always bring her back down with a glass of wine and a good laugh.
Most importantly, thanks to this friendship with my new partner in crime, I’ve discovered who I really am. I’m fiercer than I ever thought possible, more confident in my career, and I’ve been writing like never before. I’ve become a better version of myself.
High school friendships left me feeling insecure, college friendships were confusing, and my twenties were all about fun. But it’s my mom friends who are guiding me through the most challenging—and rewarding—journey of my life. Motherhood can feel isolating and lonely at times, but with my friend at my side, I know I’m never alone. I may have found her through a preschool pickup, but now I have a partner who always has an extra juice box (or glass of wine) ready to share.
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Summary:
In her quest for friendship, Emily shares her journey through different stages of life, ultimately finding the strong bond with a fellow mom named Sara. This friendship has helped her recognize her own strength and confidence, transforming her into a better version of herself. The article highlights the importance of supportive relationships in motherhood and personal growth.