As I flipped through the pages of my high school yearbook recently, I was reminded of the sweet phrases scribbled by friends and teachers: “Stay sweet,” “Don’t ever change,” “Most likely to succeed,” and “You made our school proud.” These words took me on a trip down memory lane and led me to ponder: Did I meet their expectations? Did I disappoint them or myself? Have I become the person everyone thought I would?
Back in high school, I was the quintessential overachiever—balancing academics with a flurry of extracurricular activities. I was a star swimmer, a member of the marching band, choir, and even the school plays. My schedule was packed, and I managed to juggle it all without ever dabbling in trouble. It’s no wonder that my peers and mentors had high hopes for my future.
And for a while, I did live up to those expectations. I attended the prestigious Evergreen College, then explored various cities in the U.S. and Europe while working in a travel agency. Next stop: I enrolled at Crestwood Law School, where I thrived and met my future partner. I tied the knot, started a family, and built a successful career. On the surface, everything seemed to align with the predictions made in my yearbook.
However, life took an unexpected turn. The “perfect” high school sweetheart fell into a deep struggle with alcohol and prescription pills. I managed to keep this secret hidden for a few years, but ultimately, the weight of that double life became unbearable. My marriage ended, I left my law practice, and I found myself in rehab—not exactly what my hometown envisioned for me.
The pain of losing everything I had worked for was immense. I felt like I had let down those who loved and believed in me. During those first few nights in rehab, I wrestled with shame and doubt, unsure of how I would find my way back to the surface.
Yet, through hard work, I began to rediscover my identity, slowly filling the emptiness with hope and resilience. Today, I am sober and focusing on being a caring mother while embracing a simpler, healthier life. Though I’m not where I thought I would be at this stage, I’m beginning to realize that this journey may lead to a more fulfilling life than I ever imagined.
Reflecting on the messages from my yearbook, I interpret them differently now. “Stay sweet”? Well, I might not be as sugary, but I’m definitely more authentic! “Don’t ever change”? Ha! I’ve transformed in ways I never thought possible. I’m no longer that perfectionist girl who could do no wrong; I’m a flawed but stronger person because of my experiences. And that drive I had back then? It’s still there, helping me navigate through my challenges.
“Most likely to succeed”? My successes may not fit the mold everyone envisioned, but one of my greatest triumphs is achieving sobriety and rebuilding my life from scratch. I hope that counts for something.
As for “You make our school proud,” I didn’t feel proud for a time, but I recently opened up to friends from my past about my journey. Their support has been overwhelming; many had no idea of my struggles but remembered me fondly. They encouraged me to embrace my strengths, reminding me that I’m still that girl on some level.
While I may be vastly different from the girl in my yearbook, I’ve also unearthed a part of her that still fights for a better life. A dear friend summed it up well when he wrote, “Stay true to yourself.” Maybe he knew me better than I knew myself, but it’s a sentiment I carry with me.
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In summary, life may not follow the script we write for ourselves, but it’s the unexpected turns that often lead us to growth and self-discovery.