When fellow parents share their struggles with picky eaters, I can’t help but stifle a chuckle. Until you’ve met my son, you haven’t seen pickiness at its finest.
I vividly recall a wedding we attended when he was just two. In my naïveté, I forgot to bring his food, convinced he’d find something appetizing at the venue. What a mistake. The breadsticks had too many sesame seeds, the pizza was drenched in sauce and cut in a shape that was simply unacceptable, and the strawberries? Well, they didn’t resemble the ones we had at home (whatever that even means).
The bride, bless her heart, took it upon herself to ask the catering team for assistance. “I’ve got just the thing for him,” the chef announced, eyes sparkling with hope. “How about some macaroni and cheese? Every kid loves that!”
Ah, but not my kid. He’s the only child on the planet who won’t touch mac and cheese. Or is he? As it turns out, I’m quite fortunate. There are kids out there who only eat a measly three foods. My son has a broader palate of around 14 options, including broccoli (as long as it’s prepared just so, which means by me at home).
Picky eating exists on a spectrum, and the truth is, nearly every child exhibits some level of finickiness when it comes to food. I’ve yet to encounter a child who doesn’t complicate mealtime, whether it’s about how food should taste, look, or when it should be served.
So, what does this mean for us as parents? It means that what we deem picky is actually quite normal.
I get it; it can be exasperating to whip up multiple meals for your little ones or to ensure everything is cooked, chopped, and served to their liking. I’m not suggesting you bend over backward to cater to their every whim. Setting boundaries and establishing structure around meals is crucial.
What I’m advocating for is a more relaxed approach. Accept that your kids are simply being kids, and that navigating their eating habits is going to be a challenging phase for a few more years.
I won’t bombard you with advice because, let’s face it, you know your child better than anyone. You’ll find your own balance between honoring their preferences and your own needs, making adjustments, and sometimes letting go. But beyond it being perfectly normal, here are some insights I’ve gathered that might help you take a deep breath when it comes to mealtime.
1. Kids have tiny stomachs
—about the size of their little fists. Therefore, it’s normal for them to eat small amounts at a time. There have been moments when I’ve wanted to pull my hair out after my kids ask for food right after I’ve just fed them. However, once I let go of the idea of perfect mealtimes and embraced their natural grazing habits, life became much easier (or at least I’m less likely to hide in the bathroom crying when dinner rolls around).
2. Picky eating can extend for a decade or more
Yep, you read that correctly. My 8-year-old (the same one from the wedding story) remains pickier than most of his peers, but he’s starting to branch out. Occasionally, he’ll tolerate less-than-perfect pizza, even going so far as to remove the “green things” (oregano and basil) before daring to eat it. There’s hope, folks!
3. Kids can have up to 10,000 taste buds
while adults possess about half that number. Imagine a flavor you love, then crank it up to double strength. It’s no wonder many kids shy away from bitter vegetables and spicy foods—sometimes it’s an overwhelming sensory experience. So, cut your little ones some slack, alright?
4. The majority of picky eaters are perfectly healthy
and find ways to get their necessary nutrients, even if their vegetable intake is as infrequent as a blue moon or comes in the form of a gummy vitamin.
I see countless articles on how to “fix” picky eaters: stop the snacks! Set strict meal schedules! Make them sample new foods! If that works for you, great! Personally, when I stopped trying to “cure” it and began accepting it as just another annoying yet temporary aspect of parenting, both my kids and I started to enjoy mealtimes more.
Happy kids? Happy parents! I’ll take that any day.
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In summary, navigating the world of picky eaters can be a daunting task, but it’s essential to recognize that it’s a normal part of childhood. By adopting a more laid-back attitude and understanding the various factors at play, you can create a more harmonious mealtime experience for everyone involved.