Some days, I can’t shake the feeling that I’m completely off track. Our life seems to lack any form of routine or structure. The kids eat whenever they feel hungry, devouring whatever I can whip up in under a minute. Most meals happen on the couch, where we also provide sustenance for the little ant family that has taken up residence in our living room.
There’s no set nap time, no designated quiet time, no meal prep plans, and certainly no organized activities. It’s all just a whirlwind of noise and sticky fingers.
When I have a writing deadline or an important work call, Netflix is switched on so fast that there’s barely a second of shrieking before the next episode starts. Grocery shopping? We’re hitting up McDonald’s on the way home from the park. Bath time for the boys? That’s our cue for a fun trip to the pool instead.
Some might label me as lazy, and I can’t say they’re entirely wrong. In some areas of my life, I let things slide so I can focus on what truly matters to me. Writing is a passion, but so is spending quality time with my kids. This often leads to a chaotic existence where things are just barely under control.
Balancing work and parenting means that the scales are often tipped heavily one way. I find myself prioritizing work and play over traditional house duties. Cooking dinner? Not today. Mopping the floor? That can wait. Enjoying a good book in the evening? Who has time for that when you’re trying to be a super-parent?
On days when I fantasize about having everything organized, I envision transforming into a perfect parental figure. We’d create a colorful poster of family rules—no hitting, meals at the table, everyone helping with cleanup, bedtime at 7:30 p.m., and strict limits on screen time. Surely, that would make everything easier, right? Well, maybe after the first month of negotiating with two stubborn boys who would resist every new rule.
Yet, amid my moments of self-doubt and feelings of failure, I remind myself of the benefits of our flexible lifestyle. We can enjoy breakfast in our pajamas on the couch. We can change our plans and go swimming with friends without worrying about a rigid nap schedule. We can avoid meltdowns by watching a movie during that long stretch before Dad gets home. Evening family outings? No problem at all. We can even take spontaneous trips without stressing over how the kids will handle the disruption.
Sure, some days it feels tougher without a structured routine. But more often than not, I’m grateful to be raising adaptable, independent, and genuinely happy children. Occasionally, I worry that my kids might not be getting enough sleep, attention, or even healthy meals. But then I’ll catch my youngest, who’s just two, happily grabbing an apple and settling down on the couch with a book—reading it to himself, of course. After all, the ants need to eat too!
This article was originally published on July 10, 2015.
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Summary
Parenting can feel chaotic and unstructured, but there are benefits to a flexible lifestyle. While juggling work and family, it’s important to remember that adaptability and happiness are key. Embracing the messiness of life can lead to joyful moments and growth for both parents and children.