Dear Sweetheart,
Today wasn’t one of my best parenting days. The morning arrived far too early after a night that seemed to stretch on forever. I stumbled out of bed and threw on pants just an hour before your usual wake-up time. When I entered your room, there you were, all cheerful with messy hair and that adorable crooked smile. “I up!” you exclaimed, reaching out to me. “I play wif toys!”
I didn’t smile back—not because I don’t adore you, but because I was craving more sleep. The day unfolded with you slapping stickers on the couch while I grumbled under my breath. You wanted to play tag and accidentally kicked me in the chest. In frustration, I shouted, “BE NICE TO MOM!” But looking back, I realize I wasn’t really yelling at you; I was just venting at the universe. Unfortunately, you didn’t know that, and for that, I’m truly sorry.
When you protested as I headed upstairs for a bathroom break, shouting “NO MAM GO POTTY!” I retorted with a not-so-kind “Shut up!” Definitely not my finest parenting moment.
I apologize for crying when you devoured my lunch—the lunch I had bought for both of us to help with my emotions. Apparently, you also thought chicken nuggets were essential for your happiness. And I regret putting you in time-out when your plate was doing a little dance on the table. I should have kissed you goodnight before your nap instead of sneaking off to the guest room for a moment of silence.
I recall my own mom having days like these, when she felt like she was on the brink of something overwhelming, and we, her kids, tiptoed around her, convinced it was our fault. I want you to know it’s not you. It’s never you.
What you see is me grappling with my own heartache, longing for things beyond your control. Tomorrow will be better—after a refreshing Diet Coke, a gripping crime show, and some much-needed sleep. But being a parent often means I can’t indulge in the selfishness I sometimes crave. This journey is challenging, especially when I’m tired and achy. You don’t need to grasp this right now, but when you do, you’ll understand.
I can hear you waking up from your nap, belting out Taylor Swift lyrics, shouting “Never, ever, EBER!” and something about a rubber duck. Time to rescue you! We’ll enjoy some fruit snacks, dive into books, and snuggle up while putting those stickers back on the couch.
Here’s to a fresh start tomorrow.
I love you dearly,
Your Mom
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Summary:
Today, I faced some challenges as a mom, feeling overwhelmed and exhausted. I struggled with patience and let my frustrations show, but I want my daughter to know that it’s not her fault. Parenting can be tough, but I’m committed to trying my best every day, and I look forward to making tomorrow better.