Parenting
Living a life of constant goodness? Yeah, that’s a recipe for a breakdown. I wasn’t about to start dealing drugs or anything dramatic, but let me tell you, being the model student started to feel pretty suffocating. I was just another face in the crowd, no longer standing out for my “goodness.” Instead, I found myself in a relentless race for approval, and man, was it exhausting!
Meanwhile, my classmates in third grade were getting praise for the most trivial acts. “You sat quietly in your seat today? Kudos!” Seriously? I had been doing that for eight years now!
Fast forward to middle school: I once got a piece of fiction published in a national kids’ magazine for extra credit, yet the coveted Eighth Grade Writing Award went to Jake, who merely enjoyed writing. The school seemed to say, “Oh, you’ve always liked writing.” Great, I’m no longer special—just another cog in the machine, humming along unnoticed. So, I made a bold decision: it was time to break bad.
Don’t worry; I wasn’t planning on drugs. My ex-hippie parents had made it clear I could try anything as long as I did it in front of them. Thanks, but no thanks! I needed a different approach to my newfound rebellion.
In my freshman year of high school, I found myself surrounded by a whole new group of good kids. I had a choice: either outshine them by being even better or dare to be just a little less good. Hours of community service and joining clubs with names that only looked impressive on college applications didn’t sound appealing. So, I chose the latter.
One fateful ninth-grade night, I failed to do my English homework. I was simply too busy juggling a million activities. The next day, as fate would have it, homework was collected, and I turned to my incredibly good friend, Emma, for help. I could see the moral dilemma written all over her face. Should she do the right thing and deny me her answers, or help a friend in need? She chose friendship, and I quickly paraphrased her brilliant ideas. Just as I finished, it was my turn to submit my homework.
Imagine my shock when we discovered the homework would be graded. Now, picture Emma’s horror when my paper came back with a higher grade than hers! Even when I was breaking rules, I somehow managed to be good.
It was a strange lesson—cheating and actually getting away with it. Sure, I felt a bit triumphant. “I totally nailed this!” I would’ve thought if that saying existed back in 1987. But it didn’t feel quite as rewarding as I anticipated. Sure, I could cheat on homework, but there were some things I’d never excel at—like physics, making phone calls, or merging into the left lane. Those flaws didn’t change who I was; they just added a splash of color to the otherwise neat narrative of my life.
Now, as I raise my own ambitious daughter, I plan to encourage her to strive for excellence. But I’ll also remind her that sometimes, it’s perfectly fine to be just okay. And if she finds herself tempted to take a little risk—just as long as it’s safe and nobody gets hurt—she should feel free to experiment with her own version of “breaking bad.” Just remember to be really, really good at it!
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Summary:
In this reflective piece, Lila Thompson shares her journey from being a model student to discovering the thrill of bending the rules during her school years. Faced with the pressure to always be “good,” she explores the challenges and lessons learned through a moment of rebellion, while also imparting valuable parenting wisdom for her daughter about balancing ambition and self-acceptance.