In the world of parenting, it often feels like the role of “fun parent” is monopolized by dad. You know the type: the one who’s always tickling, wrestling, and throwing balls around while I’m in the background, cleaning up the chaos they create. I jokingly refer to my husband as “Papa Playtime,” tossing a smirk his way to make it clear I’m not too pleased about it.
“It’s so unfair!” I lament. “I’m the one managing meals, playdates, and appointments, all to ensure our kids are happy. Meanwhile, you swoop in with your silly games and fun times while I’m in the trenches!” He, in turn, calls me “The General,” which used to put me on the defensive. I’d feel like Jack Nicholson in A Few Good Men, reminding him that my role is essential. “You need me on that wall,” I’d insist, “and I don’t have the time to explain myself to someone who plays under the freedom I provide!”
But then, while asking the kids to tidy up yet again, my husband said something that struck a nerve: “This is what they’ll remember about you. Just barking orders.” Ouch! Is that really all they’ll take away from their time with me?
Because I certainly do fun things with them! I surprise them with spontaneous trips, take them to movies, and even created an elaborate birthday scavenger hunt that had my oldest buzzing with excitement. Yet, it seems like my never-ending parenting duties overshadow those sparkly moments, and I have to remind them, “Hey, I’m fun too!”
Or am I? Recently, a younger mom I know told me about her grand plan for the last day of school. She was all set to greet her kids with silly string and water balloons. “Wow,” I said, genuinely impressed. But inside, I was also a bit envious of her energy. I could barely muster the thought of what to make for dinner, let alone organize a surprise water balloon ambush!
When I shared this with another friend, she nodded in agreement. “I’d love to be that kind of mom,” she said, “but I’m already juggling so much that those extra special moments slip my mind.” Cutting sandwiches into fun shapes and having “Yes” days sound great, but it can feel like one more chore on an already packed list.
Instead, I planned to mark my kids’ last day by just showing up on time to pick them up. However, the younger mom texted me: “MEET US AT THE FIELD BY THE SCHOOL. BRING WATER GUNS!”
Water guns? I could do that! Much easier than filling a hundred water balloons. So, when the bell rang and the twins dumped their bags at my feet, I fibbed and said my car was parked elsewhere. We trekked to the field, where I joined a group of moms, and we unleashed the water chaos together. It was every bit as fun as it sounds, all thanks to a simple shift in my perspective.
With summer break kicking off, I wonder if I can maintain this newfound fun vibe. Sure, I still have chores and the added stress of keeping the kids from bickering, but maybe not every day needs to be a structured affair. I’ve been taking this parenting gig way too seriously, which is frankly ridiculous because I can’t be fired from it. I’ve tried to resign, but no luck. It’s about time for this General to lighten up!
Perhaps by introducing more spontaneity and joy into our routine, the kids will start to see me as Mommy Funshine instead. Half of how they perceive me might just come down to how I market myself. And if the house looks like a tornado hit it or we end up having ice cream for dinner? Who cares? Not my kids or my husband. Domestic tasks make me miserable anyway. I just need one of those cute signs I’ve seen on Pinterest:
Please excuse the mess. We are busy making memories.
Way more enjoyable than using the vacuum I received for Mother’s Day!