As a proud product of the ’80s, I have an undying affection for everything that defines that era. Back in my youth, my hair was sky-high, thanks to an excessive dose of hairspray, and I sported multiple pairs of socks with my beloved Keds. My trusty jean jacket is still a wardrobe staple, and I unabashedly dance to “Hangin’ Tough” by New Kids on the Block in the middle of the grocery store.
There’s nothing quite like curling up to watch the iconic films from my childhood, each one a cherished part of the cultural lexicon of my generation. The moment I hear the opening notes of “Don’t You (Forget About Me)” by Simple Minds, I’m transported back to Judd Nelson’s unforgettable role in The Breakfast Club.
Since becoming a parent, I’ve eagerly anticipated introducing my kids to the classic films that shaped my formative years. I longed for them to experience the same feelings I did when John Cusack raised that boombox in the air or when Jake Ryan made eyes at Samantha in Sixteen Candles. My hope was that they would fall in love with Steel Magnolias just as I did.
Finally, the day arrived when my husband and I decided to kick off our ’80s movie marathon with Spaceballs. Our son was obsessed with Star Wars, so we figured Rick Moranis’s goofy portrayal of Dark Helmet would be a perfect introduction. As we settled in with blankets and popcorn, reality hit hard.
I completely underestimated the amount of profanity and inappropriate jokes in Spaceballs. By the halfway mark, my husband and I were exchanging worried glances and answering awkward questions about chastity belts. To our dismay, our kids found the term “asshole” particularly hilarious, thanks to Moranis.
It became painfully obvious that ’80s movies could really use a parental advisory disclaimer beyond what the ratings board provides. They deserve a parent-to-parent warning label indicating just how much of a crash course in sex education you might inadvertently give your kids while watching. If you’re considering a family movie night, here are a few warnings:
Doc Hollywood
What’s not to love about Michael J. Fox in a romantic comedy? But be prepared for full nudity when the female lead emerges from a lake. After my kid asked why my body didn’t match hers, I was at my wits’ end.
National Lampoon’s Vacation
We’ve all experienced chaotic family road trips. But unless you want to explain why Chevy Chase’s wife is performing a striptease or why Christie Brinkley is swimming naked, you might want to hold off on this one—even John Candy’s antics won’t save you.
Stand By Me
This classic coming-of-age tale follows four boys on a quest to find a dead body. Seriously, what were our parents thinking letting us watch this?
Edward Scissorhands
If you want to risk nightmares about a goth figure with scissors for hands haunting your child, then this film is a must-see.
Ghostbusters
I completely forgot about the scene where Dan Aykroyd gets a lap dance from a ghost. Watching my teen son chuckle at a Ghostbuster’s unexpected reaction to a supernatural being was beyond awkward.
Ferris Bueller’s Day Off
While I’d love to make prank calls like Ferris, the central theme of skipping school and deceiving parents is a little too much for my taste. And yes, the swearing caught me off guard too.
The Breakfast Club
As iconic as it is, I wasn’t prepared for the characters’ explicit conversations and foul language in front of my tweens. Sorry, guys, but detention awaits!
E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial
You’d think a movie about an adorable alien would be harmless, but when Elliott yells “penis breath” at dinner, you might question everything.
Our generation delivered some of the most memorable—and questionable—films in cinematic history. Watching my kids connect with the same moments that shaped my youth takes me back to simpler times, like when I wore Esprit jeans. But it’s a mixed bag—sometimes, it feels like I need to wait until they have their Sixteen Candles cakes before they’re truly ready for a movie night on the couch.
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In summary, while the nostalgic films of the ’80s are a blast from the past, they might not be as family-friendly as we remember. So, proceed with caution when sharing these classics with your kids.
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