“Probably the happiest period in life most frequently is in middle age, when the eager passions of youth are cooled, and the infirmities of age not yet begun; as we see that the shadows, which are at morning and evening so large, almost entirely disappear at midday.” — Eleanor Roosevelt
I noticed my first gray hair at 22, so by the time I hit 40, I was already accustomed to feeling “mature.” While many friends were anxious about entering their fourth decade, I was busy scheduling my thousandth hair coloring appointment. Turning 40 felt like just another birthday, complete with an extravagant cake. After all, it’s your choice to either celebrate aging or just not celebrate at all—because, let’s face it, being dead doesn’t sound like much fun.
Now, I won’t pretend that everything is the same. I’ve lived through more than half my life, and according to my family history, the clock is ticking. My hormones are on a roller coaster, no one whistles at me anymore, and yes, I’ve occasionally succumbed to the comfort of granny panties (which, by the way, are super comfy and surprisingly stylish!). But for every wrinkle and sag, I’ve gained something invaluable—the deep understanding of who I am, flaws and all. Middle age is like a balancing act between youthful exuberance and wisdom, and honestly, I’m loving this delicate dance. Sure, my joints might ache more than they did in my 20s, but they still work. And that’s a win in my book.
With the arrival of 40 came a newfound confidence that I never had before, and let me tell you, that’s no small feat. I’ve reached a point where I genuinely don’t care what others think of me, and I have a crystal-clear understanding of my own identity. I know what suits my figure and what should stay on the rack. Goodbye low-rise jeans; hello yoga pants! I don’t feel the need to slap on makeup for a quick grocery run. I enjoy my glass of wine but know when to stop before the hangover hits. I proudly indulge in my guilty pleasures—HGTV marathons, glossy lip products, and crispy fried food. If you’re paying attention, 40 can teach you a lot about yourself.
Trends? I don’t follow them. Heartbreak from boys? Not my concern anymore. And fitting in with the “in” crowd? I’m not even sure who the cool kids are these days. I shed tears over things that truly matter, not over scraped knees or bad dates. I can both comfort and discipline when needed. I dance around in my underwear and belt out tunes in the shower without a care. I’ve learned the art of not reacting impulsively to slights, realizing most of them simply don’t matter. My time is spent on things and people that genuinely bring joy to my life, rather than unnecessary drama. I exercise because I enjoy it—not because I’m trying to impress anyone. I savor chocolate, chicken fingers, and kale, even if not all at once.
When insecurities creep in, I know how to quiet them down. They exist, but I’ve learned they only hold as much power as I allow. So when that nagging voice tells me I’m not good enough, I just tune it out. That voice? Total diva. Probably didn’t get enough hugs as a kid.
I recognize what a healthy relationship looks like, and I’m in one. I’ve stopped judging others who are still figuring it out. I’ve bought a house that I’ve turned into a home. I’m raising a child, nurturing a marriage, and even keeping a garden alive. And I believe I’m doing a decent job—not because I’m extraordinary, but because I’m a grown-up who puts in the effort. I mess up often, but I focus on fixing my mistakes instead of pretending they didn’t happen. I read everything from long-form articles online to real books and even the gossip columns, because at 40, you can embrace both seriousness and silliness simultaneously. Snapchat? Nah, not for me. And pedicures? I still have mixed feelings about them.
Life has thrown some curveballs—illness and loss among those I care about. But through it all, I’ve learned to be grateful and to keep whining to a minimum. Age truly is just a number, and being fearful of that number? That’s for the faint-hearted.
Turning 40 isn’t about being free from fear or failure; it’s about gaining perspective. It’s not about losing your youth, but rather about settling into who you are and recognizing the wealth of experiences you’ve amassed over four decades.
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Summary:
Reaching 40 can be a joyous experience, filled with newfound confidence and self-awareness. While life may throw challenges our way, embracing the wisdom gained over the years allows us to truly appreciate who we are. It’s not about fearing age but celebrating the journey of self-discovery.