As summer approached last year, I received an unexpected treat in my mailbox—a catalog from a popular swimwear brand. I flipped through the pages, amused and slightly confused about how I ended up on their mailing list. I was pretty sure they didn’t sell comfy cotton underwear!
For years, I’ve dreamed of donning a bikini. In my head, I could picture the ideal one: a bright bubblegum pink number with those fabulous ’70s-style strings on the sides of the bottoms. I imagined my smooth, tanned legs and a long, lean torso to go along with it. The reality, however, was far different, which is why, apart from a few distant memories, I had never actually worn a bikini. I used to think that if you couldn’t do something perfectly, it wasn’t worth doing at all. And honestly, I still have those thoughts circling in my mind.
Thus began my long journey with swim dresses and cover-ups. I even managed to go an entire summer without wearing a bathing suit—not just once, but twice! Of course, I could wear one if I wanted to, but that didn’t mean I felt comfortable doing so. Plus, since I’m not a huge fan of water—whether it’s a pool or the ocean—staying away from swimwear was easier than you might think.
Then, on page 29 of that catalog, I spotted a pink and green string bikini that made my heart skip a beat. I found myself captivated by it. Could I really be considering buying a bikini now, at almost 45 years old and after having three kids? Was this a mid-life crisis? My vision may not be as sharp as it used to be, but could my self-image be just as distorted?
Despite my logical mind telling me no, I felt a surge of urgency. This could be my last chance to wear something like that before middle age fully settled in. Without overthinking it, I clicked “purchase.” When the bikini arrived, I was overjoyed—until it was time to wear it in public.
I kept telling myself “now or never” as I stared at my safe floral swim dress. With some hesitation, I slipped into the bikini and added a cover-up that I planned to keep on. But once I arrived at the beach and saw everyone enjoying themselves in their swimsuits, I felt a surge of confidence. I was a woman over forty, and I was done being held captive by my skewed self-image.
While I didn’t exactly throw off my cover-up and dance around, I did lie on my lounge chair, feeling a mix of pride, sexiness, and a bit of fear. On my next trip to the beach, I even stood up and walked closer to the water. Believe it or not, I wore that bikini the entire summer and felt so empowered that I just ordered another one—this time in a fabulous blue!
If you’re looking for more on this journey, check out this post on home insemination kits for additional insights. And for more resources on pregnancy and home insemination, this link is an excellent option.
In summary, embracing your body at any age is all about confidence and self-love. Who cares what anyone else thinks? A mom of three can absolutely wear a bikini, and so can you!