Before I became a parent, I was convinced I had it all figured out. I mean, how hard could it be? I had plenty of experience babysitting and taking care of younger siblings. But once I had my own little one, I quickly realized just how little I actually knew. Even basic tasks like changing diapers had me looking up videos online—my brain seemed to take a vacation. All those judgments I had about parenting styles? Let’s just say they disappeared the moment I had to face the reality of raising a child.
1. Screen Time
Before Kids (BK): I was adamant that my child wouldn’t see a screen until they were two—no brain mush on my watch! Enrichment activities, library trips, and hand-crafted toys were the order of the day. I was ready to raise a little genius!
After Kids (AK): “Netflix or live TV, kiddo?” The truth hit hard. Guess who started enjoying their favorite shows while nursing? When my little one began watching “Sons of Anarchy” upside-down, I should have seen the irony. But hey, sometimes a mom needs a break, and a little Sesame Street goes a long way!
2. Fast Food
BK: No way was I feeding my baby McDonald’s! Organic, grass-fed everything would be served on whimsical plates.
AK: Chick-fil-A? Yes, please! Those waffle fries are calling my name, and I’m totally okay with indulging—let’s be real!
3. Disciplining Techniques
BK: Spanking? Absolutely not! That’s just cruel.
AK: While I still stand firm against it, I’ll admit that I’ve entertained some wild thoughts during meltdowns. The struggle is real, people!
4. Public Tantrums
BK: I couldn’t believe parents who let their kids scream in public. Where’s the discipline?
AK: Now I know that keeping a low profile is key. If I stay calm and avoid eye contact, maybe I can finish my shopping without a scene. Funyuns, anyone?
5. Formula Feeding
BK: Breastfeeding? Easy-peasy! I didn’t need a class for that!
AK: Oh, how naive I was! The reality of low milk supply and a crying baby hit hard. Suddenly, formula didn’t seem so bad.
6. Mom Life Fashion
BK: There’s no way I’m letting myself go after childbirth! I’ll be a chic mom with style!
AK: Let’s just say, if I’m wearing a shirt that hasn’t been spilled on, it’s a win. Who needs mascara when you have a rocking chair?
7. Intimacy
BK: Sexy nursing bras? Count me in!
AK: Honestly, if I could just keep my top on without my baby trying to latch, that would be a win.
8. Using Food as a Reward
BK: I’d never use food to reward good behavior—that creates unhealthy habits!
AK: If you don’t pee your pants for seven minutes, I’ll give you cake and my Starbucks card balance. Negotiating has become an art!
9. Co-Sleeping
BK: My child will sleep in their crib—no exceptions!
AK: Well, I haven’t been in my bed since labor began. My cozy rocking chair has become my new best friend.
If only I could travel back in time to that childless version of myself. I’d give her a gentle pat on the head and maybe suggest she let that mom with the fussy baby cut in line. Parenthood is a whole different ball game, and all the judgment in the world can’t prepare you for the real-life challenges. And let’s be honest, it’s way more entertaining to judge adults wearing Crocs than to criticize fellow parents!
For more tips on navigating the world of parenthood, check out our other posts, like this one about home insemination techniques.