Parenting can be a total rollercoaster. It’s both a joy and a challenge—sometimes simultaneously! Take this morning, for instance. I woke up feeling exhausted and definitely not in the mood for the usual routine. My son, Max, and I have this fun little morning ritual of playing games or drawing together on the couch after he gets up. But today, I was too tired to even think about it. And then there’s my daughter, Lily, who woke up on the wrong side of the bed, and my younger son, Leo, who can burst into tears if I dare to cut his pancakes the wrong way—spoiler alert: I did. So, yeah, this morning was a bit of a disaster.
But then, amidst the chaos, something wonderful happened. While Lily was in the bathroom brushing Max’s hair, I stood in the kitchen checking my emails on my phone while Leo munched on his breakfast. Watching him was like seeing a small Ewok at work—adorable and completely focused as he savored his French toast. Then, with a cheeky little glance, he pushed aside his plate and dove into his oatmeal instead.
Leo recently started a nursery program twice a week, and his teacher taught him to lean over his bowl during snack time to avoid making a mess. This morning, he sat up straight, leaned forward, and focused intently on not spilling a drop. The sight of him being so deliberate and cute made my heart swell. For a moment, I felt weak in the knees, reminiscent of a teenager at a One Direction concert.
In one breath, I was stressed and overwhelmed; in the next, I was filled with joy. The ups are so high that they completely overshadow the lows. And honestly, what’s the alternative? Would I prefer to lounge on the couch watching a movie? Sure, that sounds nice—maybe a yoga class or a few extra hours of sleep too. But deep down, I know I wouldn’t trade these moments for anything.
As noted in a well-known article from New York Magazine, parents often find themselves more stressed day-to-day, but over time, they experience profound satisfaction and a sense of purpose. Yes, parenting can be a struggle, with sleepless nights and a chaotic household, but it’s also filled with moments of love and connection. This is why I believe it’s not the best time to make major life decisions like divorce.
I’ve made a little rule for myself: before I get too upset about someone driving slowly in front of me, I ask, “Have I slept less than seven hours, devoured too many brownies, or had a spat with my partner?” If any of those are true, I take a deep breath and give them a break. The same goes for our partners. We need to voice our needs but also allow for a little chaos and understanding.
Honestly, I think couples with young kids should be banned from divorcing. When you’re sleep-deprived and overwhelmed, it’s hard to think clearly. Unless there are serious issues at play, like abuse or deep incompatibility, I believe the person you married will resurface in a few years when the kids are older. After our daughter was born, my wife, Rachel, transformed from a cheerful book character into someone unrecognizable, but eventually, she returned to her former self. One day she woke up and said, “Wow, I lost myself for a bit!” Thank goodness we didn’t split; otherwise, I would’ve missed out on so many wonderful years with her.
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In summary, while parenting can be challenging and chaotic, it’s also filled with profound joy and connection. The tough moments often lead to the most beautiful ones, and I wouldn’t trade that for anything.