So, my little girl just managed to spill some water all over the floor. My partner, half-jokingly, says, “Ella, why don’t you head to the kitchen, grab a towel, clean up the mess, and then return the towel?” Without missing a beat, Ella, who is just 13 months old, complies. She wipes up the water and returns the towel to its rightful spot on the counter.
My partner watches in amazement as Ella effortlessly follows his four-step command. The funny thing is, at that age, her older brother might have found the towel too. But he’d likely have been sidetracked by a toy truck, maybe stopped for a snack, and completely forgotten about the water spill. In a nutshell, I’ve got a classic “boy” and a classic “girl.”
Before Ella came along, I often rolled my eyes at any sweeping statements about kids based on gender. I would hear parents of girls remark about my son, “Oh, he’s such a boy!” as I chased him around the park while they relaxed watching their daughters play quietly. Any rambunctiousness was labeled “boy behavior,” while positive traits were automatically assigned to girls. It felt personal, as if being a boy wasn’t something to celebrate. “Boys and girls are the same,” I’d argue, hoping it was true.
Then came Ella—a real-life baby, I joked after having one of each. Reflecting on my son’s early years, it was clear that he was like a turkey taken out of the oven a tad too soon. Everything just seemed to come naturally to Ella. My son, on the other hand, was like a whirlwind, creating chaos wherever he went. Ella, however, appeared perfectly organized, with motor skills that could rival a heart surgeon’s. Meanwhile, my son could spend hours looking for his shoes—only to discover they were right there on his feet.
Despite only having two children, I can’t fathom why women aren’t dominating the world. Ella is special to me, but she’s not one of a kind. Most moms of toddler girls would agree that their little ones could totally take on leadership roles someday. Yet, somewhere along the path, these confident little girls transform into shy kids, then giggling schoolgirls. Women often find themselves needing to remind each other to “lean in,” even though we were born ready to take charge.
I often ponder whether I was as confident as Ella at her age. She embodies the unfiltered version of me before the world told me to tone it down. I think about my journey to build confidence and feel at ease in my own skin, realizing I was probably just as capable as my little Ella is now.
We need to empower our girls to retain that spark. Along with stopping the negative labeling of boys for their behavior, we owe it to our girls to nurture their innate strength. They come into this world ready to lead—we just need to step aside and let them shine.
This article was originally published on June 17, 2015.
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Summary: This piece discusses the innate capabilities of girls and how society often diminishes their confidence as they grow. It highlights the importance of letting girls keep their strengths and asserting that they are born ready to lead.