Wherever I wander, I encounter parents: some with toddlers, others with school-aged kids, and even those with tiny infants snuggled close. This isn’t surprising—it’s summer, and families are out soaking up the sun, just like mine.
What really gets under my skin, though, is the phenomenon I like to call the “Extra Loud Parenting Voice.” Picture this: you’re minding your own business when suddenly, from ten feet away, a parent starts narrating their entire interaction with their child as if they’re auditioning for a reality show. You find yourself involuntarily drawn into this loud exchange, completely derailing your own thoughts or conversations.
I can’t tell if the Extra Loud Parenting Voice stems from a few too many years of parenting chaos or a genuine desire to showcase their parenting prowess. Regardless, it falls squarely on the annoyance scale, right alongside that guy in the office bragging about his latest business deal and the college girl recounting her weekend escapades at a volume that could wake the dead.
Let’s be honest: the folks around you are not thinking, “What a wonderful parent!” They’re more likely thinking, “Can you please tone it down?”
Here are some classic scenarios where the Extra Loud Parenting Voice runs rampant:
- In the Grocery Store: “What color is this orange? Is it orange? How about we count the oranges: One, two, three, four… Oh, sweetie, let’s use our indoor voices, okay? What color are the blueberries? Right! They’re blue! Should we buy those? Not those, give me the organic ones.”
- On Public Transport: “We need to stay seated! Do you want to color? Here’s your coloring book and crayons. Would you like some water? No, we can’t play games on my phone. Let’s color this truck! It’s a garbage truck. Isn’t that fun?”
- At the Playground: “We only go down the slide! No climbing up. Look at the other kids—see how they go down? That’s how we play on the slide.”
- At the Zoo: “Look at the giraffe! That’s the daddy giraffe, and there’s the baby! Their necks are so long, just like in the book we read. No, our dog isn’t a giraffe; he’s a dog!”
- At the Pool: “Please don’t run! The pavement is slippery. If you run, you might fall and hurt yourself. Mommy doesn’t want that. Ice cream after lunch, remember? Let’s eat those veggies with the hummus we made together.”
These are just a few recent examples of the delightful experiences I’ve had to endure. Engaging your kids is totally natural, but doing so at a volume that makes everyone within earshot feel like they’re in a loudspeaker contest is not. It can drive anyone nearby to the brink of insanity.
While I’m sure you’re a fantastic parent, I really just want to grab some groceries, enjoy a quiet moment at the playground, or admire giraffes in peace. So, can we please leave the Extra Loud Parenting Voice at home?
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Summary
This article humorously critiques the phenomenon of parents using an excessively loud voice while interacting with their children in public spaces. It highlights the annoyance felt by bystanders and gently suggests that quieter communication can make outings more pleasant for everyone involved.