There’s a part of me, let’s call it my inner teenager, that should probably feel embarrassed by my current taste in music, but frankly, I’m not. Once upon a time, music was everything to me—back when I sported black velvet chokers, dark nail polish, and styled my hair in two tiny buns that resembled cat ears. The girl I was back then would have been utterly appalled to know that two decades later, I’d be a mom, shuttling my kid to swim lessons while jamming to the Top 40 with wild abandon.
I used to know every single lyric to every song by The Smiths; their quotes even graced my Trapper Keeper. Now, I find myself belting out tunes by Rihanna and Maroon 5 without a shred of shame. Morrissey would probably disown me for this betrayal!
Music as an Identity Marker
Back in high school, music was the ultimate identity marker. We carefully selected our lunch tables based on our favorite bands. I would never dream of sitting at the Metallica table or, heaven forbid, the country music table. No, I was too cool for that. I claimed my spot at the Jane’s Addiction table, where we scoffed at the lowbrow tastes of kids who liked Paula Abdul and Bobby Brown. How could they not see that Robert Smith was a far more authentic artist?
Fast forward to my 20s, and I was just as snobby. I couldn’t even consider dating a guy with lousy taste in music. Hootie and the Blowfish? Total deal-breaker. Come on, how could anyone bop along to Jon Secada and expect me to take them seriously? My future partner had to appreciate the Beastie Boys, but only the “Paul’s Boutique” era—no party anthems, please.
Shifting Tastes
It’s hard to believe that I once cared so much about this stuff. I didn’t even know what Top 40 radio stations were because I was all about college radio—the obscure channels that barely registered on the dial. Now, my car radio is permanently tuned to the Top 40 pop station of my teenage nightmares, and I’m not even sure if college radio still exists. Do people even listen to the radio anymore?
I’ve become so out of touch that I recently started enjoying Nirvana—25 years late to the party! Back when Kurt Cobain was alive, I couldn’t stand them because they were too mainstream. I was all about Sonic Youth back then.
Letting Go of the “Cool” Persona
Eventually, music stopped defining me. I tried to hold on to my “cool” persona for a while, convincing myself that I could be a hipster mom. But let’s be real—I was already wearing capri pants and Keds. The next logical step? Admitting my love for Shakira (and hey, why not J. Lo too). Still, there are moments I yearn for my past self. I attempted to catch Coachella on TV this year, but I didn’t recognize any of the artists. Then my toddler demanded Disney Junior, and I caved. The last “cool” album I bought was Arcade Fire’s The Suburbs, and I can’t recall the last time I listened to it. The Decemberists are also gathering dust somewhere in my iTunes library.
A Rite of Passage
I think this is part of the rite of passage into middle-aged motherhood. Moms are notoriously known for their questionable taste in music. I still remember my own mom rocking out to Basia on her treadmill while I rolled my eyes in disgust. I never understood how she could dislike the Violent Femmes so much, but now, the tables have turned, and it’s my turn to be the “uncool” one.
The truth is, at 41, my perceived coolness doesn’t matter like it did at 21. I cherish this newfound musical freedom. Age has given me confidence in who I am, and I no longer need a curated playlist to define my life. Music used to be a shorthand for categorizing myself and others, but I’ve learned that someone’s music taste reveals little about their true self. I have zero patience for music snobs these days; I’m too busy with more pressing matters. I can now appreciate all kinds of music, and believe it or not, I’ve even discovered a few country songs that I genuinely enjoy. Take that, teenage me!
So now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m heading back to my girl Taylor. After that, I might even kick back with some classic ’70s yacht rock. Ahoy, Christopher Cross!
In Summary
In summary, the author reflects on their evolving taste in music from their youth, recognizing that while they once defined themselves by their music choices, they’ve embraced a more diverse and carefree approach as they age. This shift brings a sense of liberation, allowing them to enjoy a wide range of musical genres without judgment.