When my husband heads out for work, my two little girls love to announce his absence to just about anyone we encounter. The cashier at the grocery store, fellow parents at the park, you name it. With glee, they proclaim, “Daddy’s on vacation… oh wait, I mean a business trip! Hahaha!” And there I am, chuckling at their innocent slip-up while also feeling a twinge of anxiety.
Let’s be real: broadcasting that Dad is away can feel a bit risky. I mean, who knows who’s out there lurking? Definitely not something I want to post on social media.
And just in case there are any unwanted visitors out there, let me just say: I’ve got every window and door rigged with alarms and sensors. You’d be caught faster than you could say “intruder alert!” So, if you’re thinking of dropping by, just know that I’m prepared.
Okay, maybe I sound a bit on edge, but hey, life with a traveling partner can be a challenge. Some might say I’m a bit obsessive or anxious, but I like to think of it as being prepared. I mean, I do keep my home security remote right next to my bed, expertly positioned for easy access. The panic button? Oh, I know its exact angle relative to my fingertips—30 degrees, to be exact.
And yes, I double-check the stove before bed, muttering “off, off, off” like a mantra. Crazy? Perhaps. But between my worries and the endless bedtime interruptions from the kids, I’ve compiled a list of the top 20 thoughts that swirl around my head when my partner is MIA.
- He’s dining in fancy places, sipping cocktails while discussing grown-up topics. Meanwhile, I’m here munching on whatever crumbs the kids leave behind, chatting about Doc McStuffins.
- He’s exploring exciting cities and cultures. I, on the other hand, am heading to Chuck E. Cheese for the umpteenth time. If he sends a selfie from a tourist spot, I might just lose it.
- He’s sleeping soundly in a hotel, while I’m wedged between two restless kids having night terrors and doing acrobatics in their sleep.
- Is he cheating on me? Probably not, but you never know.
- Weekend trips to the park? Torture. Everywhere I look are happy families. Avoid at all costs.
- I’ll just leave one pair of his shoes at the front door and another at the back—perfect for deterring intruders.
- Is the alarm system really working? I should probably check on that.
- What can I do to keep the kids occupied? Art class lasts an hour. A playdate down the street? That could buy me three hours—but I can’t stand those kids!
- Stock up on batteries for the vibrator. A mom’s gotta do what a mom’s gotta do.
- I’m surrounded by mini humans, yet I feel so lonely.
- Don’t call me, honey. You sound too chill, while I’m losing my mind over here.
- I need a break from bedtime stories. A vacation sounds incredible right about now.
- Walking down the stairs? Gotta be careful—if I fall, who’s going to care for the kids?
- Must teach the little ones how to call 911 on my phone.
- Chew slowly. Can’t risk choking while I’m the only adult.
- Time to limit the wine intake. Just two glasses tonight—no getting tipsy when I’m on my own.
- Is there such a thing as medicinal marijuana for moms? Because there should be.
- Cooking? Not happening. Frozen pizzas, fast food, and Kraft Mac & Cheese are gourmet meals in my book.
- I hope he remembers to bring me back a fun souvenir—or, better yet, a day off from parenting.
- When’s your next trip? Seriously, it’s only been two days. I could drop you off at the airport!
Adjusting to life without my partner can be tough. It’s isolating and exhausting. But connecting with him through video chats or sweet letters can help bridge the gap. Remembering that “absence makes the heart grow fonder” helps, too. And when all else fails, there’s always wine, chocolate, and binge-worthy reality TV to take the edge off.
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In summary, while having a partner away on business can be a rollercoaster of emotions and challenges, embracing the chaos with humor and a little creativity can make all the difference.