I like to think of myself as a pretty cheerful person—easygoing, self-aware, and generally optimistic. That is, of course, with one slight caveat: a good night’s sleep is essential. If I don’t catch enough Zs, I morph into a snappy, irritable, emotional wreck who can’t be reasoned with. During those moments, I’m always convinced I’m right. Except when I’m not—which is often, and then I can’t seem to get anything right at all.
Still with me?
Here’s the kicker: I haven’t enjoyed a solid night’s sleep since my son arrived in the summer of 2014. At this point, I’m past being just a snappy, grouchy mess. In fact, I sometimes think my husband reminisces about the days when I was merely a cranky, emotional whirlwind. Ah, those were the days!
Babies are incredible—truly, they are! From their adorable tufts of hair to those tiny, wrinkly toes, they completely redefine joy. The initial weeks with your newborn can feel magical—sort of. However, they’re also exhausting. That’s why I’ve compiled this little survival guide for new dads (or moms) who have a partner like me (sorry in advance!) and a newborn:
- Refrain from mentioning how your wife looks. A comment like “You look rough” is best avoided. If she’s survived the day without mishaps involving herself or the baby, consider renewing your vows.
- Avoid phrases that start with, “Don’t take this the wrong way, but…” It’s a guaranteed signal that something is about to go very wrong.
- If she’s been up all night with the baby, don’t take her prone position in bed as an invitation for romance. She’s likely in a deep sleep, not ready for a game of “Hide the Salami.”
- Never ask, “So, what did you do all day?” Just for reference, the day likely went something like this:
- Feed baby.
- Burp baby.
- Change baby.
- Stare in awe at baby.
- Wonder how you both created such a miracle.
- Change baby again after a small eruption.
- Repeat.
- When your baby has a blowout in your arms, don’t look to your wife with a blank stare and say, “I think the baby needs a change.” You know where the diapers are—use them!
- If you’re running late from work, send a quick message. Your partner has been counting down the minutes all day, and you don’t want to walk into a potential baby-launching scenario.
- Remember, parenting is not babysitting. Expecting a reward for being a dad? You might as well look for pocket money in the fridge.
- If your wife starts crying for reasons you can’t comprehend, offer her a hug. You can always change your drenched shirt later. Odds are, she’s just as confused about the tears as you are.
- Listen when she says something’s wrong with the baby. And keep her away from Google; it’s a rabbit hole you don’t want to venture down. For more info on pregnancy and home insemination, check out this excellent resource.
- Finally, take everything in stride. Keep your sense of humor intact, and remember that you’re in this together.
For more tips on navigating this wild journey, you might enjoy reading our other posts on related topics, or explore this insightful guide about your fertility journey.
In summary, being a new parent is a mix of joy, exhaustion, and a little chaos. Embrace the ride, keep the communication open, and prepare for a lot of diaper changes.