Every parent knows the joys of parenting come with the three P’s: Poop, Pee, and Puke. We’ve all had those moments—like scrubbing a couch after a diaper disaster or dodging flying snot like we’re in an action movie. But what really surprised me was discovering a whole list of tasks that seem to be solely in the realm of moms. Here are some of my exceptional “Mom Skills” that clearly no one else can handle:
- Clearing Pockets Before Laundry: If I skip this step, suddenly it’s my fault when a beloved Chapstick transforms our laundry into a fragrant mess of strawberry swirls.
- Getting Clothes Into the Basket: My family excels at dropping their clothes right next to the basket but never actually in it. It’s like a game of “how close can you get?”
- Proper Undergarment Removal: There’s a skill to taking off pants before underwear, apparently lost on my kids. Summer school, here we come!
- Mastering the Dishwasher: The art of loading the dishwasher correctly is a complex one, but thankfully, I’m here to save the day—again.
- Post-Meal Cleanup: After I whip up dinner (the one that everyone devours), it seems picking up plates is just too much effort for my crew.
- Collecting Tissues: I’m constantly on tissue patrol, picking up the ones my little germ factories scatter around like confetti.
- Soap Refills: The trek from the shower to the linen closet seems insurmountable when it comes to replacing the soap. Apparently, using shampoo is acceptable in a pinch.
- Bringing Toys Inside: After a day of outdoor play, my kids somehow lack the energy to bring their toys back in. Perhaps they’re just too tired?
- Recycling Water Bottles: Finding half-empty bottles scattered about is a daily task. The recycling bin is just too far away for them to manage.
- Hanging Up Bags and Coats: You’d think the hooks were a mile away! But somehow I’m the only one who can manage the extra two steps.
- Toilet Paper Replacement: I can’t tell you how many times I’ve found the toilet paper on the counter instead of the roll. This will also be covered in summer school.
- Flushing the Toilet: Apparently, this is as challenging as a math exam for my kids. We’re dedicating a whole month to mastering this one.
- Toothpaste Cleanup: While I appreciate the brushing, the hardened toothpaste in the sink is a whole other story.
- Weather Forecasting: Why check the weather themselves when they can just shout from upstairs for me to provide a detailed report?
- Finding Things in Plain Sight: “Mom! Where are my shoes?” The answer is usually “right in front of your face,” but that’s too simple, right?
And my crowning achievement? Turning off the 15 lights they insist on leaving on from the bedroom to the garage door every single day!
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In summary, motherhood truly comes with its own set of unique challenges and skills that seem to be exclusive to moms. From laundry to toys, it’s clear that we have our work cut out for us!