“You’re how old?” the young hotel shuttle driver blurted out after I mentioned my age. Earlier that evening, I had indulged in a glass of wine, which led me to strike up a casual conversation during the ride back to my room. “I’m 39, and that’s perfectly fine by me,” I assured him. When he asked for my high school graduation year and I replied with “1993,” he gasped, “No way! That’s the year I was born!”
Right now, I’m touring with a musical version of Dirty Dancing (you know, the one where “nobody puts Baby in a corner”). My boyfriend plays in the orchestra, and for the first seven months, I was probably the oldest “merch girl” in history. The show is set to run straight through summer 2016, and we decided that sticking together on the road was better than enduring lonely Skype calls that would crush our spirits.
Having recently transitioned from the merch role, I’m finding my rhythm again through writing, reviewing yoga studios, and teaching as we travel across North America over the next year. While I might be living out of a suitcase and skipping gatherings that involve the word “shots!” every few minutes, it feels good to reconnect with my adult self.
Over the past year, I’ve noticed a distinct shift. It’s hard to put into words, but I feel…older. Not in a negative way, just different. Sure, I’m a bit road-weary, but deep down, I recognize that I’m officially on the other side of my 30s now. Here are some of the things I’ve started to observe:
- People call me ma’am.
- I hardly ever get carded, and when I do, it’s for everyone.
- Much older men seem to find me attractive—sometimes it’s flattering, other times, not so much.
- I’m practically invisible to guys in their twenties unless they’re looking for a “cougar,” which is just gross.
- Younger women often give me the side-eye, as if I’m yesterday’s leftovers.
- My roots are becoming increasingly prominent, and I’m seriously considering going grey.
- I have zero patience for bad food, wine, or company.
- Speaking my mind is becoming second nature.
- Sometimes, I prioritize sleep over intimacy.
- I don’t recognize half of the celebrities on magazine covers, nor do I care to.
Additionally, I’ve noticed a few other things:
- I’m no longer the cute yoga instructor; I’m finally being taken seriously without the need to prove myself.
- I invest time and money in myself—self-care is key!
- Vitamin C serum and coconut oil have become my best pals.
- Dessert? Yes, please! I bake it, eat it, and enjoy every bite without guilt.
- I cherish my alone time—beach, dinner, or a movie solo is my jam.
- Negativity? No thanks! I’m learning to ignore anyone who brings bad vibes.
- I’m taking my sweet time—what’s the rush? I wish I could tell my younger self to chill out.
- I talk to my mom every day, without fail.
- I have higher expectations for my partner because I know my worth.
- A lack of sleep can turn me into a crazy lady, so I prioritize getting enough rest.
I look at my 40-year-old boyfriend and chuckle; his salt-and-pepper hair only adds to his charm. He can wake up, give his hair a casual tousle, and still look effortlessly sexy, while I need a bit more time to smooth out my own rough edges. Not that I’m going for the full Botox-housewife look—just some serum and moisturizer work wonders these days.
Living this unconventional lifestyle as I approach 40, I’m opting out of opening night parties, cutting back on alcohol, staying hydrated, meditating, and simply being true to myself—and you know what? That’s totally okay. I embrace being 39, and I’m proud of it.
For more insights on this journey, check out this post about home insemination. Also, if you’re exploring the fertility journey, Make a Mom is a fantastic resource. And for pregnancy tracking, March of Dimes is an excellent option.
Summary
Turning 39 brings a newfound perspective, with significant changes in how I view myself and the world around me. From being treated with more respect to prioritizing my well-being, I embrace this stage of life with open arms, balancing personal growth and the realities of aging gracefully.