My mom has made it crystal clear on several occasions that some of the choices we “modern” moms make are totally bonkers. She believes we overanalyze our kids’ feelings and spoil them too much, wrapping them in a cocoon of hand sanitizer and sunscreen. It makes me wonder: Are we modern moms a bit too much? Have we become mommy monsters? Here are 30 reasons my mom thinks we’ve gone a tad overboard…
- Video baby monitors. According to her, these gadgets are the reason moms are sleep-deprived. We’re glued to those glowing screens, constantly checking for baby discomfort or signs of SIDS. If your little one is crying, you’ll definitely hear it—no need for a fancy monitor to alert you.
- The endless lineup of activities for my kids. Seriously, are they going to perish if they experience boredom for even a second?
- The obsession with food. Everything has to be organic, gluten-free, and free from added hormones. My mom agrees that we had to deal with early puberty issues, but she probably flips her lid when she sees my grocery list.
- All clothes must be 100% cotton. My kids have sensitive skin—so do a lot of other kids nowadays!
- All lotions and body washes must be all-natural and fragrance-free. Sensitive skin again.
- Laundry detergent? It better be biodegradable and free from harsh chemicals.
- The preschool application process is basically like applying to college. Waiting lists, interviews—it’s intense!
- My kids actually ask for kale smoothies. I’m not kidding.
- Car seat contraptions are so complicated that you’d think you need an engineering degree to navigate them.
- It took me half an hour just to get out of the house with all the baby gear. Seriously, what happened to simplicity?
- My private preschool bill is like a mortgage payment. Yikes!
- My kids have never had a hot dog. Choking hazard, of course.
- No balloons allowed at birthday parties. Choking hazard again.
- My kids refer to their anatomy in the most innocent way—like calling their vagina a “Woo Hoo.”
- They have no clue what a period is. Even when I’m in a public restroom changing a tampon, I tell my girls, “Mommy has a boo-boo in her woo-hoo.”
- Sometimes my kids dance like they’re auditioning for MTV. Thanks, nostalgia!
- We even analyze our kids’ poop for fiber intake, discussing consistency and color with family. I’ve heard of parents snapping pics (not me, though).
- My kids don’t set the table. (We’re working on it.)
- They don’t fold laundry. (We’re working on it.)
- They don’t make their beds. (We’re working on it.)
- We don’t own a Bible.
- Birth plans and a million sonograms? Yep, that’s a thing.
- Gender reveal parties? You bet!
- My kids have the audacity to order Starbucks. “Hi! Can I get a kid’s hot chocolate with a sprinkle of cocoa on top? SOY!”
- I may need wine to cope with motherhood—and my kids know when it’s “Mommy’s Wine Time.”
- My kids can do yoga poses like downward dog.
- My car is filled with kiddie music CDs, and yep, we jam out.
- There’s this idea that there’s such a thing as too much screen time—doctors can’t stop weighing in on it!
- Hand sanitizer is a must. Seriously, a million times a day.
- I overanalyze my kids constantly. So much so that I write about them on this blog, contribute to other publications on motherhood, and read everything I can find online. (Eye-roll.)
Why can’t we just go back to basics—balloons, cake, and ice cream? Oh wait, balloons are a choking hazard, and cake and ice cream are probably loaded with artificial chemicals.
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In summary, while the modern parenting landscape may seem overwhelming with its endless rules and regulations, it’s essential to find a balance. Embrace the chaos and remember that every mom has her quirks. And if you’re looking for advice on fertility, Make a Mom is an excellent resource. For those considering insemination treatments, Parents offers valuable insights.