As the countdown to summer break reaches the final weeks, I find myself eagerly anticipating the end of the school year, just like my sixth grader. Let’s face it: parents often need that break just as much, if not more, than the kids do. After all, a little downtime is essential.
I’m a mother of two—my eldest is 11 and on the brink of graduating from elementary school, while my youngest is 9. Since my firstborn entered kindergarten back in 2008, I’ve been involved in school events and activities, volunteering in various roles along the way.
Let’s be clear: no one has twisted my arm to volunteer. I genuinely want to be involved in my children’s education and find joy in it. As a work-from-home parent, I’ve sometimes felt that being at home with nothing to do is a strange kind of luxury I don’t deserve. To combat those feelings of idleness, I’ve always been eager to contribute. Not only do our public schools rely on dedicated parents, but I also appreciate that I have the time to help out.
However, there are days when volunteering feels like a chore.
At my kids’ first elementary school, which was part of a small district in the Bay Area, there was a strong culture of parent involvement. Parents were essential for classroom support, fundraising, and organizing extracurricular activities. It felt like a true partnership among teachers, administration, and parents—a community effort that was hard to resist. Many parents, even those with jobs, found a way to contribute at least once a month, with some doing much more. As the PTA historian, I kept track of volunteer hours for two years and saw firsthand the effort that went into making our school great.
In those years, I took on a variety of volunteer roles. As an enthusiastic first-time kindergarten parent, I signed up for everything that sounded remotely interesting. I attended PTA meetings regularly, eventually serving on the board as historian and then secretary. I was a room parent, helped produce the yearbook, assisted in language arts and physical education, coached an after-school Girls on the Run group (even though I don’t have daughters), and was part of a mysterious entity known as the Wellness Committee—what did we even do?
By the time my oldest finished fourth grade, juggling two children in school and a part-time job as a language arts instructor, I began to feel overwhelmed and burnt out. While I appreciated the friendships I formed with fellow parents and teachers, I realized I couldn’t keep up with everything. I didn’t want to do it all anymore. In fact, I began to resent it. I acknowledged that the activities I enjoyed most—like the PTA and Walking Club—were far more fulfilling than being a room parent or dealing with the chaos of physical education stations. I promised myself that the following year, I would focus on what truly brought me joy.
Then we relocated, and I found myself navigating a new school with similar volunteer demands but a different culture. In an effort to integrate into the new community, I again overcommitted myself, leading me to the world of robotics.
Robotics!
In my seven years of volunteering, leading a robotics team has been the most challenging task I’ve taken on. With virtually no engineering knowledge and a background limited to basic astronomy and a math class in college, I found myself coaching a First Lego League team. I didn’t even want to do it, but my involvement allowed five more kids—including my own son—to join the team, which was especially important after his rough Little League season.
Reluctantly, I agreed to lead the robotics team, reassured by a more experienced co-coach that it would be manageable and that we would get help if needed. Spoiler alert: that didn’t happen. My co-coach and I, along with other parent volunteers, mostly relied on trial and error to guide our kids through challenges. While the kids eventually outsmarted us in math and programming, the learning curve was steep, and we were left feeling unprepared for the final tournament.
The silver lining? The kids loved robotics, and my co-coach turned out to be a fantastic mom who shared my parenting style. The downside? Everything else about that experience was tough. We had enthusiastic kids, the competition was fun, and I’m proud that we allowed more students—especially girls—to explore STEM fields. However, I couldn’t shake the feeling that a more qualified coach could have given them a better experience.
My time with the new school’s PTA was equally frustrating, revealing that teachers didn’t use parent volunteers in the same way as my previous school. This year, I returned to robotics, mainly to allow more kids to participate, but I stepped back from classroom volunteering and didn’t rejoin the PTA. Instead, I coached track, drawing from my 20-plus years of running experience to offer valuable advice to the kids. Finally, I felt useful in a way I hadn’t during my stints as a room mom, robotics coach, or Wellness Committee member.
Reflecting on my robotics experience, I felt like I had let the kids down. They deserved a coach who could provide more insight. When I witnessed parents being chastised for simply suggesting a new fundraiser to our PTA, it infuriated me. No parent should feel like a failure for volunteering their time or be pressured to participate in activities that drain the joy out of helping.
Our public schools rely heavily on parent involvement, especially with budget cuts affecting resources. Many parents feel compelled to jump into every opportunity, and while some thrive in that environment, I’ve learned through experience that it can become overwhelming. I don’t regret my involvement, but I’m ready to step back. With my kids moving on to new schools next year, I’ll attend a few PTA meetings to see where I’m needed but won’t feel guilty if I don’t volunteer for everything. The saying “Do what you love, love what you do” may sound cliché, but it rings true in the realm of volunteering. From now on, I’m all about choosing the activities I truly enjoy.
(And if you ever discover what the Wellness Committee does, please let me know. You can find me at the track!)
For more insights into parenting and volunteering, check out our other blog posts here.
Summary: This article reflects on the author’s journey through school volunteering, detailing the joys and challenges faced while balancing commitments. After years of overextending herself, she learns to prioritize her passions and only engage in activities that bring her joy. The experience serves as a reminder that while parent involvement is crucial for schools, it’s important to maintain personal fulfillment in the process.