When my younger brother Jake first mentioned his desire to enlist in the military, I was in total denial. I thought it was just a passing phase, a childhood obsession with action figures and battle stories. Plus, I knew our family would react the same way I did—utter panic.
Why so much fear? Let me break it down into three main reasons.
- Risk. I can’t speak for my siblings, but I’m definitely the pacifist of the bunch. When it comes to danger, my instinct is to grab my loved ones and make a run for it. And let’s be honest, I’m not winning any races!
- Perception. The way Americans are viewed globally gives me the jitters. I worry that my brother might face consequences for a government he didn’t choose and has no control over.
- Loss of Autonomy. Not the surrender you think. The military won’t prioritize Jake’s personal interests when deciding his assignments. I get it; they can’t function otherwise. But the idea of someone else dictating his life choices—from his wake-up call to his meals—really grinds my gears. Plus, wasn’t Jake always the free spirit?
Unlike me, Jake was serious. Last year, he took the leap and enlisted. He went through boot camp and is now training to be a medic. He just graduated, and we were all overjoyed (think happy tears mixed with laughter) to hear that his first posting will be nearby, where we can visit him. That’s a major relief, considering how we all dread the thought of him being in dangerous places.
As Memorial Day approaches, I find myself reflecting on its significance in a whole new light.
I’ve always enjoyed the local parade. Living in a small town means we can stroll out just 20 minutes before it starts and still score a spot in the shade. We bring snacks and drinks, meet familiar faces, and cheer for the floats—everything from classic cars to fire trucks, scouts, and local political figures. And of course, the veterans and active-duty service members, who usually get the loudest cheers.
In the past, I felt somewhat disconnected from the soldiers. I cheered, my kids clapped, but there wasn’t a deep connection. Then, a few years ago, everything changed. With the U.S. sending troops to conflict zones, those sailors began to look so young. Maybe it was the uniforms, which typically remind me of joyful classic movies. But suddenly, they appeared like kids, and I realized they could easily be my own children. It hit me hard, and for the first time, I found myself in tears for them.
But they were still just “them.”
This year, as we honor those who made the ultimate sacrifice, my perspective will shift yet again. I’ll be thinking about how my brother will forge friendships, only to face the harsh reality of loss. As a medic, he’ll save lives and send some soldiers home, but others won’t make it back. I can’t help but wonder how that will shape him.
We are a military family now, which is something I never expected. We don’t fit the mold of a typical military family. I don’t believe America is the greatest nation, or that any country is. I think it’s crucial for citizens to appreciate what they have while also questioning the status quo.
And now, I feel it’s my duty to support Jake in every way I can. I’m in awe of him. He enlisted with our full support, though we were all a bit confused. He’s strong, disciplined, and thriving in this new chapter. He’s finding success, personal strength, and a sense of pride in himself that could even rival superheroes. On Memorial Day, when I see soldiers who are now contemporaries of my brother, the emotions will swell, and I’ll feel that connection I never felt before. He’s one of them, and we share the same fears, pride, and love as their families.
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Summary
Memorial Day has evolved from a simple picnic day to a profound moment of reflection, especially for families with members in the military. As we honor those who served, our understanding deepens, transforming our connection to the day and those who protect us.