“I’ve missed more than 9,000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. Twenty-six times, I’ve been trusted to take the game-winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.” —Michael Jordan
“It is impossible to live without failing at something, unless you live so cautiously that you might as well not have lived at all, in which case you have failed by default.” —J.K. Rowling
“Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly.” —Robert F. Kennedy
But there exists an even more profound type of failure, one that stings deeper, costs more, and imparts invaluable lessons. This is the kind where you hit rock bottom, experiencing real defeat—where the pieces seem impossible to pick up. Yet, like a phoenix, you can rise from the ashes and begin anew. It’s gut-wrenching in the moment, but often it’s exactly the wake-up call needed to get back on track.
I came across some eye-opening insights about these life-altering failures on Elite Daily. The lessons gained from such a fall are numerous: the power of perseverance, the realization that not all is lost, the possibility of a fresh start, and the moment when you must choose between wallowing in despair or using your experiences as a springboard for a new beginning. To reach that understanding, you often need to crash spectacularly.
As a parent, it’s heart-wrenching to think of my children facing such trials. This is likely why I shy away from discussing it. While I can prepare them for disappointments—big ones even—the notion of telling them they might experience a monumental crash at least once in their lives, and that it could ultimately benefit them after a lot of heartache, is daunting. So, should we really prepare them for this?
Perhaps it’s more inspiring to share stories of famous figures like Walt Disney, who faced bankruptcy and arrived in Los Angeles with little more than a shirt and some drawing supplies, or Colonel Sanders, who was so broke he lived in his car. But maybe what resonates more is sharing personal stories, especially from someone they trust—like me, their mom. I’ve had my own spectacular failures that shattered my world and forced me to rebuild.
We often strive to protect our children from life’s harsh realities, focusing on the bright side. Yet, as I reflect on my own experiences, I wonder if I’m withholding something crucial. I remember being blindsided by my own failures and questioning why it happened to me, unaware that I wasn’t alone in my struggles. It took me far too long to grasp the essential lessons hidden within those dark moments. So, should I share my story with them? Absolutely, when the time is right.
I hope they can appreciate these lessons when they are older, and I want to be there to support them if they ever face such challenges. A poignant quote from Paul Hudson on Elite Daily resonates deeply with me: “It may be impossible for you to see now, but everything falling apart for you may be exactly what you need. It’s when we have nothing to lose that we give life our all.”
While it’s tempting to shield our kids from failures, I increasingly believe that sharing our own struggles can provide them with invaluable lessons. After all, knowing that we’ve faced hardships and emerged on the other side could be one of the best teachings we can offer.
This article was originally published on May 27, 2015.
If you’re interested in more parenting tips or personal stories, check out our other blogs at Home Insemination Kit and Fertility Booster for Men, which provide a wealth of information on family planning. For excellent resources on pregnancy and home insemination, visit UCSF’s IVF page.
Summary
In parenting, teaching kids about the value of significant failures is essential. While it’s natural to want to shield them from pain, sharing personal experiences of overcoming adversity can provide them with the resilience and perspective they need to navigate their own challenges. By discussing both the struggles and successes, we help them prepare for life’s inevitable ups and downs, ultimately guiding them toward a more fulfilling and resilient life.