I vividly remember the day the new Costco opened in our town. The line was monumental, snaking past The Home Depot, filled with eager shoppers clutching their wallets as if they were about to witness a concert by their favorite band. I was right there among them, motivated by the rumor that milk could be had for under $2.00. Of course, I was in line—no question about it!
Once the doors opened, the rush of people was overwhelming, and honestly, the details of my first haul are a blur. But one thing is certain: that day marked a turning point in my life. Nearly a decade later, I am still a proud Costco member, a loyal companion through all of life’s ups and downs. Sure, I’ve let my membership lapse a few times, but the minute my fortunes improved, I was back, ready to grab avocados at a steal.
I’ve truly crossed over to the Costco side, and if you recognize yourself in the following signs, you might be there too:
- When a Sam’s Club flyer lands in your mailbox, you toss it aside without a second thought. You wonder how that imposter got your address and quickly recycle it. Cheating on Costco? Never!
- You’ve found yourself buying underwear at Costco. It starts off innocently enough, perhaps with a 3-pack of comfy camis, but suddenly you’re eyeing body-shaping panties that somehow make it into your cart, wedged between dog treats and a massive bag of Babybel cheese.
- You’ve returned perishable items to Costco. In the days before Costco, I would have silently accepted a bad batch of raspberries. Now, I confidently march to customer service. I recall my first return—a package of fish with live worms. The cashier reassured me, saying it was a sign of freshness. Such a memorable moment!
- You purchase a Costco cake for every occasion. Even for a small gathering, nothing beats a half sheet of deliciousness at that price. And let’s be honest, you’ve probably devoured the leftovers the next day, one guilt-laden bite at a time.
- You visit Costco on weekends for “just browsing.” It’s one thing to go for essentials, but a Saturday stroll for non-essentials? Bold move! Even the devil himself avoids those crowds.
- You’ve served your family meals made entirely of Costco impulse buys. Like those mini-quiches you whipped up for breakfast—made from “fresh eggs and milk,” of course. #momwin
- You seek out the friendly cashier who knows how to entertain your kids during checkout. You know the one—his humor could easily rival a late-night talk show host.
- Somewhere in your kitchen, there’s a gigantic jar of coconut oil. You’re on a mission to use it all before the internet declares it the latest health trend gone wrong. Stir-fry, anyone?
- You’re loyal to Costco, but you draw the line at certain products. You learned the hard way that their version of Dove soap is not for the faint of heart—those bars are still sitting in the boys’ bathroom, untouched.
- Your kids have been begging for a Disneyland trip, but you think, “Why would we go there when we could just hit Costco?”
- Your ankles have almost been taken out by an overly chatty woman in Lululemon, too engrossed in her phone to notice anyone else around her—your cries of pain ignored.
- At some point, you’ve misplaced a child in the store, only to find them happily munching a churro in a stranger’s cart, singing show tunes.
- You’ve witnessed the spectacle of strangers shoving samples into their mouths while you navigate the chaotic aisles, sometimes getting caught in a “spanakopita shower.” Some sights are just impossible to forget.
Welcome to the Costco life! Just remember, they close at 6:00 PM on Saturdays.
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Summary
If you’ve found yourself nodding along with these signs, it’s clear you’ve embraced the Costco lifestyle, whether it’s through your shopping habits or the unique experiences that come with it. Remember, it’s all part of the fun of being a Costco member!