Updated: August 20, 2015
Originally Published: May 27, 2015
Meet Dr. Lila Thompson, an anthropologist who has spent years exploring the diverse neighborhoods of New York City. But one particular area left her feeling so unsettled that she felt compelled to write a book about the exclusive world of wealthy NYC mothers. In her new work, The Park Avenue Primates, she describes this affluent enclave as “the most intriguing yet alienating and entirely separate realm” she has ever encountered.
You might have heard buzz about her book, especially regarding the “wife bonus,” which blew up on social media last week. This bonus is essentially a year-end cash gift some affluent wives receive for their “performance,” like successfully enrolling their kids in prestigious pre-schools or maintaining their appearance. And that’s just scratching the surface of how these women differ from the rest of us.
Imagine mothers being chauffeured in luxury SUVs, sporting $100,000 Birkin bags without a second thought. Many have traded in their careers to raise families, while their powerful husbands are rarely around. Dr. Thompson observes, “There’s a pervasive culture of intense perfectionism and financial dependency. The men hold all the power.”
In a thought-provoking op-ed for the New York Times titled “Poor Little Rich Girl,” she elaborates on how some women view having large families as a status symbol—after all, raising kids in NYC is costly. What better way to flaunt wealth than by having your own little tribe? She also highlights the fierce competition among mothers, a theme that might sound more like a Hollywood script than reality.
Dr. Thompson claims that many of these women resort to pills, alcohol, and marijuana to cope with the relentless pursuit of the perfect rich wife and mother image. Their lives seem to revolve around competition: in parenting, appearance, and material possessions, all in a bid to “keep up” with one another. To gain insight into this world, she “lived, lunched, and mothered with over 100 of these women for nearly six years,” painting a vivid picture of those ensnared in a lifestyle that feels utterly exhausting and dependent on their husbands’ fortunes.
It’s like a real-life Stepford Wives nightmare. Rumor has it that the women featured in the book are not pleased about having their lives exposed. A source revealed to Page Six, “The author approached several moms for their stories, assuring them she wouldn’t say anything negative, only to turn around and throw them under the bus. They’re furious and scared.” You can’t really blame them. “The Park Avenue Primates?” Ouch.
At least there’s something new to talk about! I’m sure their kids are tired of being seen as mere symbols of wealth and achievement, and honestly, how much excitement can a Birkin bag bring? As far as I’m concerned, these women have every right to that wife bonus—their lives sound absolutely draining.
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In summary, Dr. Lila Thompson’s The Park Avenue Primates delves into the surreal world of affluent New York mothers, revealing a life filled with competition, perfectionism, and financial dependence. Her observations provide a unique glimpse into a society that many of us will never understand, while also sparking conversations about the pressures of motherhood and wealth.