I have a little secret: I can’t seem to part ways with my trusty BOB. For those who might not know, that stands for Battery Operated Boyfriend. No matter how hard I try to step back from this guilty pleasure, it just keeps calling me back. There’s something irresistibly satisfying about indulging in my desires without the hassle of planning a Date Night, worrying about the kids interrupting, or pretending to be interested in my husband after a long day of laundry and dishes.
Sometimes, the best way to recharge is to enjoy a solo adventure. No need to navigate the complexities of ensuring my husband is happy while I get my own satisfaction. There are no hurt feelings when I’m too exhausted or busy to entertain romantic notions. It’s just me, a spark of inspiration, and my beloved BOB.
This little rendezvous is quick and uncomplicated, providing instant relief from the stresses of motherhood. Honestly, isn’t that a more effective remedy than chocolate or wine for a frazzled mom?
My husband understands, or at least he tries to. He knows that as a grown woman, I’m capable of meeting my own needs, even when parenting throws a wrench in our romantic life. I’m pretty sure he has a stash of magazines featuring glamorous women tucked away in the garage, and he’s aware that I have my own little secret in the dresser.
Sometimes, I can’t help but wonder if he calculates how much more “action” BOB gets than he does. While I won’t admit anytime soon that my trusty gadget has had more quality time with me than he has in the last six months, I can say that this secret indulgence has helped me unwind significantly.
There’s a part of me that looks forward to the day when the chaos of parenthood doesn’t drain me so much that it leaves little room for enjoying my husband’s company. But for now, while we’re navigating the wild ride of parenthood together, I’ll stick with BOB as my go-to source of pleasure—otherwise, I’d just be a robotic machine, dishing out clean clothes and packed lunches.
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Summary
This playful piece reflects on the author’s preference for using a vibrator over engaging with her husband, highlighting the ease and satisfaction it brings amidst the challenges of parenthood. The author acknowledges the complexities of maintaining intimacy while managing family responsibilities and humorously shares her secret indulgence.