When you become a parent, you find yourself torn between two thoughts: “I hope he’s just like me” and “I hope he’s nothing like me.” More often than not, you get a blend of both—though it sometimes feels like the universe is playing a trick on you. “Great, you inherited my quirky leg hair but not my rhythm. Awesome. Now, go brush your teeth!”
Last week, I found myself on the floor, attempting to soothe my 7-year-old son, Max, who was sobbing uncontrollably. His big revelation? He felt he had too many friends! I mean, seriously? In a world where kids often lament about loneliness, here’s my son crying over the challenge of having too many pals. While I often fantasize about the myriad of challenges Max will face, I never imagined wiping away tears over a social dilemma like this.
With his tear-streaked face, he lamented, “Everyone wants to play with me, and sometimes I just want to play by myself!” I had to stifle a laugh—how was this even a real problem? As I reflected on my own childhood meltdowns, they typically revolved around trivial concerns like, “Why is my nose so big?” or “Why can’t I look like everyone else?” But here was Max, writhing on the floor, and I knew I had to take his feelings seriously.
Max is a natural leader; kids are drawn to him. He may not be the tallest or the most athletic—both of his parents are on the shorter side—but he possesses a unique blend of humor, intelligence, and creativity. He’s confident in a way that doesn’t always align with his abilities, often thinking he’s the next big thing. I try to ground him with reality, gently reminding him that while his John Travolta impression is cute, it’s not exactly Oscar-worthy. But somehow, his outgoing nature and belief in his own humor attract other kids like bees to honey.
As we talked, I reassured Max that it was perfectly fine to tell his friends, “I’d like to play alone today.” Yet, he was worried about hurting one particular friend’s feelings. This was a breakthrough for him—always a bit self-centered, he actually showed concern for someone else. I felt a swell of pride. I had to explain that while it’s important to consider others’ feelings, he is not responsible for everyone’s happiness. It was a tricky lesson, but I think he grasped it—well, as much as a self-assured 7-year-old can.
The next day, I watched him awkwardly express to his friend that he needed some alone time, stressing it had nothing to do with their friendship (classic “It’s not you, it’s me”). To my surprise, his friend just shrugged and said, “Okay.” So it turns out, it is possible to be kind while also setting boundaries. I wish I had learned that lesson earlier instead of becoming a people-pleaser who tiptoes around emotions—then I might have had the courage to tell Max that his Travolta impression isn’t exactly top-notch.
If you’re interested in learning more about navigating parenting challenges, check out this blog post for additional insights. Plus, if you’re looking for information on pregnancy, Healthline is an excellent resource.
Summary
In this lighthearted reflection, a mother describes her experience comforting her son Max, who feels overwhelmed by the attention of too many friends. While navigating his emotions, she emphasizes the importance of setting boundaries while being compassionate. Through Max’s journey, the mother learns valuable lessons about empathy and self-care.